Not coping with the recent death of my wonderful husband

  • Posts: 3
    14/05/2019  11:51

    Hi there, 

    I am so sorry for your loss. That must have been incredible hard to go through.

    I am a singer songwriter and I lost my Mum to cancer 6 years ago. she was my inspiration, taught me how to play guitar and told me to follow my dreams! It has been incredible hard to deal with but music has been my catharsis... Since then I've dedicated my life to spreading positivity and love wherever I can, and I wrote a song called "Atoms" which I wanted to share on here. I hope it will help anyone else dealing with grief and bereavement and give some positivity and hope. Here's the you tube link to the acoustic version. It's also on Spotify and iTunes. Sending love out there. 


  • Posts: 16
    15/05/2019  10:47

    Dolly32x I’m a little confused as to why you have quoted my first post in it’s entirety.

  • Posts: 16
    15/05/2019  11:06

    Hello Girls, well that’s the first year over, and whilst the constant weeping has subsided, I am still missing my Phil dreadfully. It would have been his birthday on Saturday, and my granddaughters, bless them, have decided we should mark the occasion as we always have and have a drink to Grandad on the 18th. The anniversary of his death on 26th April passed without too much upset, but the week leading up to it I found very difficult. I couldn’t get that final week when Phil was in hospital, out of my head. He was so poorly, and he desperately wanted to come home, and all the feelings of helplessness that I wasn’t able to fulfil his wish, came flooding back. Also, did he know how much I wanted him home, and how much I loved him? I really hope so. On our wedding anniversary on May 3rd I planted a new tree in the garden, a silver birch, which Phil loved, as a sort of memorial to our happy life together. So,Girls, I have entered the second year of life without my Love, and although I face the rest of my life with some trepidation, I do feel stronger and to some degree it is because of the support, not only of my family, but yourselves, so thank you xx

  • Posts: 14
    15/05/2019  11:59

    Hello Polpatt. I am pleased you are feeling stronger and it is natural to feel scared. I am approaching the 2nd anniversary of losing Bill and still have the feeling of trepidation. I suppose it will never truly go as each year brings different challenges. I still think 'we' not 'I'. I am sure Phil knew your thoughts as I know Bill knew mine. We have to believe this to sustain us in the years ahead. Hopefully we can all keep in touch here as sometimes it is easier to talk to people other than family as only someone who is following the same path can appreciate those moment of bleakness that pop up when least expected. Take care. Marilyn xx

  • Posts: 18
    16/05/2019  16:10

    Hi Girls, nice to hear from you. I too am approaching the first year anniversary of Rogers passing on 15th June  and not looking forward to it. I know, what you mean Polpatt when you say the week before and couldn't have him home it was the same for me, Roger had 3 days in a hospice. My neighbour brought me a lovely shrub in Rogers memory, I think I might plant it with a plaque in the garden, as Roger always loved sitting in the garden. I have two lovely friends that I met and keep in touch with from the hospice meetings, so we are all in the same boat and it really helps, you know the times when the loneliness and sadness just makes you feel self pity and you just cry and feel sorry for yourself, I have learned though that although this still happens sometimes, you may feel ok again within a few hours so its not all gloom and doom. It does not do any good keep going over the same thought of 'I lost him' because that will not change, I now approach things ok, Carol what are you going to do today to cheer yourself up, and what do you like doing. (music, dancing, shopping, eat something nice). Thank you girls for all the support from yourselves in the first year when I really needed it. Take care Carol xx


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