I had a enjoyably warm week in France. I read, ate, drank lovely wines and generally relaxed. Just what I needed. It was strange coming back to an empty house but I have kept myself busy with my usual pilates, yoga etc. I also have been in touch with the undertaker who dealt with Bill's funeral regarding his ashes. I feel it is now time to scatter them in the two places he wished. Until now the finality of the situation was just too much but my head is in a slightly better place now so the time has come. My daughter agrees with me so plans are in place.
Polpatt , I was born and brought up in North Lincolnshire leaving when I was 18. I always told Bill that you can take the girl out of Lincolnshire but never Lincolnshire out of the girl! In my heart I always wanted to return but now in my head know it would be silly as all my friends are up here in Cumbria.
I know how you feel about letting things go. It upset me to change the car but as I hate driving I needed a small car and now love my little Citroën. I do still have Bill's golf clubs standing guard in the garage. My son in law uses them when he visits. Bill would be happy with that.
You must both treat yourselves at Christmas even if it is small and silly. Surround yourselves with people who understand how much you miss your husbands. I spent my first with my daughter and her family plus her in laws. There was tears at times but we remembered Bill and my son in law made a lovely toast to him.
Sending you lots of support .