Not coping with the recent death of my wonderful husband

  • Posts: 14
    26/09/2018  16:43

    Hi ladies


    I had a enjoyably warm week in France. I read, ate, drank lovely wines and generally relaxed.  Just what I needed. It was strange coming back to an empty house but I have kept myself busy with my usual pilates, yoga etc. I also have been in touch with the undertaker who dealt with Bill's funeral regarding his ashes. I feel it is now time to scatter them in the two places he wished. Until now the finality of the situation was just too much but my head is in a slightly better place now so the time has come. My daughter agrees with me so plans are in place.


    Polpatt , I was born and brought up in North Lincolnshire leaving when I was 18. I always told Bill that you can take the girl out of Lincolnshire but never Lincolnshire out of the girl! In my heart I always wanted to return but now in my head know it would be silly as all my friends are up here in Cumbria. 


    I know how you feel about letting things go. It upset me to change the car but as I hate driving I needed a small car and now love my little Citroën.  I do still have Bill's golf clubs standing guard in the garage. My son in law uses them when he visits. Bill would be happy with that.


    You must both treat yourselves at Christmas even if it is small and silly. Surround yourselves with people who understand how much you miss your husbands.  I spent my first with my daughter and her family plus her in laws. There was tears at times but we remembered Bill and my son in law made a lovely toast to him. 


    Sending you lots of support .

    Marilyn 

  • Posts: 18
    Edited by: Carol50 - 28/09/2018 20:22

    Hi Girls,

    Nice to hear from you Mazl glad you had a nice holiday, sounds very relaxing. Roger are I loved going to Keswick in Cumbria on walking holidays. We fought our way up many a fell including most of the big ones. I hate heights but Roger took me up vertical scree hills absolutely terified me. Many a times I used to say 'if only my mum could see me now, she would have kittens', but loved the scenery and also loved the holidays. We did the coast to coast from cumbria accross country, loved it.

    Nice to hear you are in a better place now, like all our hubbies, they wouldn't want us to be sad, they would want us to enjoy life and hard as it is Roger I know would want me to be happy. 

    I find it quite amusing thinking what would Roger buy me for Christmas,  he wouldnt mind me using his flexible friend, I will give it a lot of thought and keep it as something special, maybe a piece of jewellery. What about you girls are you going to treat yourselves? 

    I have two sisters and one has already invited me for christmas and as there will be children there I might accept.


    Love and hugs

    Carol x

  • Posts: 16
    01/10/2018  16:37

    Hello Mazl and Carol50 it is good to hear from you both. I have had a bad day today, feel so sad and upset. Had a pretty good weekend too, a harvest supper and quiz in the local pub with family and friends on Saturday which was a good laugh. Whether Infeel guiltybat enjoying myself I don’t know, but this morning taking Lottie for a walk in the beautiful,Autumn sunshine, the tears came and I’ve been emotional ever since. I really thought I had turned a corner, but it doesn’t feel like it today, I just feel wretched. I miss my Philip so much it’s a physical pain, I’m sure you both know what that feels like. I will bounce back, I’m sure and I will contribute to the discussion when I’m feeling more cheerful. Love to you both xx

  • Posts: 18
    Edited by: Carol50 - 01/10/2018 17:34

    Oh palpatt I feel for you and yes we do understand. It is good to cry as it releases all those bad feelings. I had 2 days last week when I felt so bad I could not talk without tears rolling down my face. I hope you feel better tomorrow. Don't feel bad about a good cry, give Lottie a nice hug I am sending a wraparound hug to you. Lots of love Carol x

  • Posts: 16
    05/11/2018  12:46

    What is it about anniversaries? It’s one year today that my lovely Philip and Inwentbto

    What is it about anniversaries? It’s a year today that Philip and I went to see our two week old puppy, Lottie for the first time. Such a happy day looking forward to long walks together, and visits to the beach. Sadly it wasn’t to be. We collected her on 17th December, and by the time her injections were all done and she was able to be taken out, my lovely man wasn’t well enough to walk with us. Such a lot has happened in such a short time. Feeling sad

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