Not coping with the recent death of my wonderful husband

  • Posts: 16
    09/11/2018  10:20

    Hello Girls, it’s always comforting to hear from you. I do try o keep busy particularly on Anniversary days, and It works, but at some stage you are on your own with your thoughts. Today was difficult, I had the funeral of my cousin, whom I had been helping to look after while she was at home. She had no family to speak of except a nephew who lived 150 miles away, but he was very close to his aunt, and visited her at least a couple of times a week. She must have been so lonely living on her own, so I thank God for my wonderful family who help me so much. It was hard to have another funeral so soon after Philips but that’s life’s cycle I suppose. I hope you are over your wobble Carol, they do creep up on you don’t they. I know what you mean about having to take over tasks that were always done for us, it’s hard. I have always handled matters financial, so that wasn’t too much of a hassle, but it’s the practical things that Imfind hard, silly things like changing those fiddly little bulb things in cabinet lights, cleaning my own boots and shoes, painting the outside sheds, garden furniture etc. And many more things that Philip did around the house and garden. I’m getting there slowly, but I’ve got Christmas, swiftly followed by my birthday to come, come, which reminds me, who will put up the Christmas tree? Love and mutual support my friends, Pauline xx

  • Posts: 18
    09/11/2018  19:27

    Hi Girls, thankyou for your comment Brigette but I signed a phone contract a month ago so too late to cancel I've already tried but only found out Thursday that I could have got it free through sky so a big lesson learnt. Roger always did paperwork and phone calls to firms and I am finding it so hard having to do it all myself. Another thing that is upsetting me is that I know my brother in law  who is quite close promised Roger he would look after me but I feel I am having to just get on with it with no help from him or my son who is always so busy. Sorry just having a rant as I just don't want to do this anymore. It's funny palpatt, I find it really easy doing all the practical things like painting a fence and light bulbs it's a shame we don't live nearer each other, by the way i love dressing xmas trees. Sorry to hear about your cousin and funeral I had to go to one a week after Rogers and all I kept thinking about was Rogers. 

    I do hope things get easier soon I think the only reason I'm still hear is my sons wedding in Oz in jan sometimes I feel like just walking away from it all. I think I should throw myself into a task like shoebox appeal or poppy day maybe, helping others less fortunate may help.

    Thankyou for all your support love carol xxx

  • Posts: 14
    09/11/2018  19:54

    Hi. It sounds as if you have both hit the barrier after the adrenalin has disipated. I know I did. After a year faced with renewing everything such as BT, car insurance etc., everything that Bill did. It is not easy but I found that if I explained my situation most people were very helpful. It is not easy by any means and I still have times when I feel like walking away but the thought of my little granddaughter keeps me going. She still asks me when grandpa is coming back. I have found the book 'Self care in the real world' very helpful and read it regularly. Anything that concentrates the mind. Pauline, last Christmas I only put up minimal decorations. Enough to look vaguely festive but that was all. Don't bother with the full shebang just do what you want to do. Make sure you treat yourself kindly with a few treats. Love, Marilyn xx

  • Posts: 18
    09/11/2018  21:27

    Hi Marilyn thank you for this, I will look up this book, sounds like it will help.

    Carol x

  • Posts: 14
    09/11/2018  23:34

    I know we shouldn't advertise and I have no connection to the authors but it did and does help me a lot. It is by Nadia Narain and Katia Narain Phillips. I read a little every night and it had helped me through some bad times. I hope you like it, Carol. I find yoga helpful as well both physically and mentally. Xx

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