Compassion

Paulette 1 month ago

6 replies

Hello, I'm grateful to be part of this welcoming community as a new volunteer and look forward to communicating with other volunteers and community members.

The topic of discussion is compassion.  Compassion - to practice compassion, to use compassion and to receive compassion may have a huge impact on interactions, feelings and self-esteem.  But is this especially important at the end - of - life care?  The dignity, empathy and concern that reaches another could be of significance when the situation calls for it.

By being quietly present, truly listening and showing warmth, families, individuals and support staff can be part of something which creates space, time and respectful communication.

Yet during the end - of - life care journeys there is so much going on potentially, like treatment, personal decisions and even disagreements.  Finding a balance may not be easy, so even one person who can see through these necessary but difficult discussions and offers 'compassion' is like a pillar of support. 

Do you have any examples of compassion shown/given which really made a difference?  Maybe a neighbour, relative or staff member has been present in a way which has surprised or pleased you...

Daffodil 1 month ago

Hello Paulette,

Welcome to the Community! My experience with compassion shown in those situations have been the gentle presences of others. Friends who would leave little gift baskets with cake or a cup of coffee in front of the door, then sending a text saying 'there is something on the doorstep for you', just gently encouraging those caring to have a treat and a break. Or good friends of the house offering to come around and, without much fuss, doing the washing-up and putting on a load of laundry, and checking whether they can get anything when they're going to the shops. One might call that 'help', but - if done in the right way, always checking that they are welcome - I think it shows much compassion.

The greatest example I have heard of is a mutual friend of the terminally ill person and the family carer offering to sit with the former for a couple of hours each weak to give the carer a little break while spending time with the friend while there is time. They did this for many months, without fail, and their kindness and compassion will never be forgotten.

I look forward to hearing more from others!

Anke, another Member of the Marie Curie Online Community Team

Kat22 1 month ago

Edited by Kat22 1 month ago

Hi Paulette, Daffodil. My youngest Daughter who lives with me is away at the moment. In her absence and with me having chemotherapy, she arranged a dog walker for our pooch Marshall. Its Marshall's last walk with him today. During the week, the dog walker has made the time to chat with me, which I thought was lovely as he has never met me but knows I'm ill and didn't shy away from asking me how I was finding things and coping. Whilst chatting about cake, I told him what my favourite cakes were. On turning up today, he's bought me two of my favourite cakes. The World is a wonderful place and there really are some true gems in it. In that moment I felt so lovely. That to me is compassion. It doesn't have to be a big gesture x

Paulette 1 month ago

Kat22 - What a beautiful example of compassion!  It's very true that the little gestures can say so much.  In making time to chat with you and making a mental note of your favorite cakes he has been a 'true gem'.  It is lovely that as part of Marshall's routine and care, this exchange has resulted.  Sometimes the unplanned actions can leave us feeling touched and surprised. I'm hoping you enjoyed/will enjoy those cakes. Thank you for sharing this.

Kat22 1 month ago

You're welcome Paulette. I was taken aback by the gesture and so had to mention it. I've eaten one already, the other one is waiting. Due to the cancer returning, I've lost nearly 4 stones in weight and so every little thing I eat now is a bonus x

Yvonne1 1 month ago

Good morning Paulette, Katt22 and Daffodil

I am also a member of the Community on-line team and read with interest your thoughts and comments with regard to compassion.  It is my experience that compassion comes in so many forms, from kindly deeds, just having the opportunity to just listen and share thoughts and feelings, to the offer of help in whatever capacity that may be to show caring.

I am in a priveliged position in as much as one of my roles with Marie Curie is to sit with the patients here in the Hospice and get their views about the care they are currently receiving.  I meet such lovely people with stories to tell about their lives, sharing their hopes and fears too.  One specific lady mentioned in our conversation that she liked gingernut biscuits and she missed them with her morning cup of tea.  When next in the Hospice I took a packet to her and will never forget the look in her eyes - you would have thought I had given her £1m pounds! a simple gesture, but it stays with me and reminds me too that a little bit of compassion or going the extra mile can make all the difference, however small.

Thank you ladies for all that you do as Volunteers.