Return of ovarian cancer

Kat22 1 month ago

4 replies

Edited by Kat22 1 month ago

Hello. I'm new here and have just started to type my life's story. Not sure what to say. I'm currently having chemotherapy which i was told will give me a couple of years, if successful, by my Oncologist. The first couple of days after each session are the worse, exhausting, so I spend most of my time in my room, hence my getting in touch. I have one Daughter at home still but she works full time and so isn't always around for a chat. She's on holiday at the moment having a well deserved break from everything. I feel for them, both my Daughters, for what they have been through too. Cancer affects everyone. I am familiar with Marie Curie and the sterling work you do as my Father died from bowel cancer in July 2012. He was in Nottingham and I am in Northumberland. I couldn't always be there. He had carers at home as he wanted to pass away at home but eventually was advised to go into a care home. Whilst in there, a Marie Curie nurse would visit. The nurse was there during his final week and there with me at the end. She gave me the strength to stay with Dad to see him take his last breath whilst holding his hand. I think he had suffered a stroke as he couldn't move, speak or even blink in that last week but I know he knew I was there. I will be forever grateful to Marie Curie, hence my reaching out. If I can be cared for in the same way, comfortable and not in pain with my girls by my side, also being supported, that's all I want. I dont want to be at home so that my girls get a break and I dont want to be in pain if I cant be tended to in time becauseI have to wait for someoneto reach my house. I dont want to be in hospital. I get scared, anxious and low, no matter how good the treatment is. My wish is to be in a Marie Curie hospice Thank you for the work you do x

Paulette 1 month ago

Dear Kat22

Firstly, thank you so much for reaching out here in the Marie Curie community.  It is pleasing to hear of positive experiences you have had.  So sorry for your diagnosis.  You seem very clear about your feelings and wishes: fear, anxiety and being low in mood, when it comes to the idea of hospitalisation.  Being able to name and communicate this may support you further with the way you wish your future to be and important decisions.  You mention 'typing your life story' - I'm curious, does this support you with managing feelings and coping with the present situation?  

With regards to your Dad, it sounds really significant and meaningful that you got to hold his hand at that moment in time.  I feel that maybe the strength you had then has been pivotal perhaps for the present time. 

As you say clearly 'Cancer affects everyone' and you are so respectful towards both your daughters.  

Being in your room and realising that there is a space for communication and acting on it feels like you are being very pro-active in your journey.  I would like to thank you Kat22 for sharing your experience and I feel sure many people in the community will appreciate your honesty which is inspirational.   

Daffodil 1 month ago

Hello Kat,

Thank you so much for reaching out while having chemotherapy and thinking about the past and the future. It seems like this is an intense experience, being the child of someone who died from cancer while also being the parent to your girls as you are considering your options.

Thank you very much for sharing your experience with the Marie Curie nurse looking after your dad, who was with you in his final days. We are glad that this has not only supported you then, but also given you impetus to write to us now.

You seem to have quite a lot of information already, but if it is useful, and you feel ready to do this, you could also consult the resources on end-of-life care on the Marie Curie website: https://www.mariecurie.org.uk/information/end-of-life. Have you been able to discuss your local options and wish to be in a Marie Curie options with your GP or other physician?

Please know that the Marie Curie helpline are available from 8am to 6pm Monday through Friday and 10am to 4pm at weekends. The phone number is 0800 090 2309, and there are also other options to reach someone who can support you at this time, including the online chat and email (for details see https://www.mariecurie.org.uk/services/support-line). And of course, please feel free to write again here.

Take good care,

💛  Anke, a Member of the Marie Curie Online Community Team

Kat22 1 month ago

Paulette, Daffodil, thank you for your replies. They mean so much - I'm not alone, you've taken the time to read my post and make me feel individual and special. Writing some of my thoughts and memories down Paulette I do find helps. I can understand why people write biographies, seeing their lives on paper. Reaffirming what they have done with their lives or are still wanting to do. When I was initially diagnosed in 2022, I immediately wrote a plan for the future and put things in place. I actually wrote my Will after Dad passed because he didn't have one and sorting everything out alone between myself and my Sister was so difficult. I didn't want my Girls going through that. I also made my Girls aware of my future plans, althoughthey weren't set in stone. Since being told my Cancer has returned, I have set my plan and informed my GP who is going to call me next week regarding this. My surgery has confirmed that I am eligible to attend the Marie Curie Hospice near me, which provides huge comfort. When my chemotherapy is over, I would also like to attend at an out patient for some of the wellness classes. Before Dad got Cancer, it had never even been on my radar, I knew nothing about it, let how many types there are. I had never seen anyone pass away either. Both experiences, you're correct Paulette have given me strength and I have tried to pass it onto my Girls. I also didn't have a clue about Ovarian Cancer. I thought you could only get Cervical Cancer. Due, to this and not recognising symptoms, I was diagnosed at Stage 3c. Thank you again for your replies xx

Kat22 1 month ago

Daffodil, thank you also for all the contact information in your reply x