I know what you mean. I turned in to the world's biggest wimp when Bill died very suddenly without any warning. All my get up and go got up and went. Luckily I still go to my pilates and yoga classes but when I get home there is nobody to have a laugh with or just sit with doing nothing. Most people I know are in couples and can at times seem very smug (not intentionally I am sure).
I haven't had any counselling yet but have been referred by my GP to a bereavement counsellor, I await the phone call. A year down the line and the hole is just as big and the pain as hard. I think he would be amazed at how much I miss him!