Not coping with the recent death of my wonderful husband

  • Posts: 18
    09/09/2018  18:18

    Hi palpatt I always say the sadness and emotion is always just under the surface and it only takes something small to bring it to the surface like you say a price of music, photo etc. I always feel so embarrassed when I start to cry but I know people in the know understand. I hope you enjoy your granddaughters meal I know it will be hard not having him with you but he would want you all to enjoy it. My son gets married Jan in Australia I am going to feel it then but the family will all be there and I need to be strong for my son.

  • Posts: 14
    10/09/2018  11:32

    Hi both. My first Christmas was full of tears and memories. My granddaughter who was then nearly 3 couldn't understand why grandpa wasn't there. She still asks when he is coming back. Bless her. I do a lot of blinking in front of her. As you say it doesn't take much for the tears to flow. I am going on holiday with a friend tomorrow. My first without Bill and whilst looking forward to getting away I am treating it as a challenge. My friend, despite being married, is a very independent lady and has diffuculry understanding how/why I was so dependent on him. Still I am determined to enjoy the break and hope to come back ready to face this second year. Take care both of you. Marilyn

  • Posts: 16
    Edited by: Polpatt - 10/09/2018 16:02

    Mazl, first of all I hope you have a lovely holiday, it will be very different but your friend sounds like a very independent lady who will surely look after you. My Philip was also my rock and my crutch, and he did so much for me, I guess I was rather spoilt. We did lots of things together both jobs, shopping and were happy with one another’s company. It is very hard to be alone now, but to have had such a wonderful husband and a happy marriage has been a gift and I am forever grateful for that. I am able to go shopping and out for meals with my family and a close friend, also a widow, but I have not managed anything solo up to now. It’s a case of lack of confidence and disinclination I think. So I admire you for giving it a go. Hope you will be able to relax and recharge your batteries while you are on holiday xx

  • Posts: 16
    10/09/2018  16:14

    Carol50 yes the tears are embarrassing when they erupt spontaneously, but I think most people understand, or try to. It sounds wonderful to look forward to your son’s wedding in January, and I think you are so brave to travel out to Australia for the occasion. There’s bound to be tears but on the whole it will be a joyful occasion I’m sure. I get the impression that you are much younger than me, I am a young 75! Although I don’t feel quite so young sometimes! My Phil was a sporty, handsome, fit man who always looked at least 15 years younger than his age, so although some would say he had a good innings, the loss is just as great after a lifetime together

  • Posts: 18
    Edited by: Carol50 - 10/09/2018 20:34

    Hi girls, Mazl I hope you can enjoy your holiday I have just come back from a week away on my own in a holiday flat, yes it is hard but when you manage a cinema, theatre and restaurant on your own you feel a sense of great achievement, I did have an evening of loneliness but that could have happened at home. I hope you get some confidence from your friend and enjoy yourself. Palpatt I am 59 and was happily married for 38 years he was 8 yrs older than me, so I feel I have a lots of years still to enjoy and live. I am very lucky as I have 2 fantastic married sisters who are flying out to Australia with me. I am travelling home via Tasmania and Perth with one of them. I hope I am a young 75 I intend to keep active and find girlie friends.

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