Mum is hanging on

Raphael3 1 month ago

1 reply

My mum was sent home from hospital 2 weeks ago to her own flat with me looking after her. We were told that her bladder cancer had spread to her lymph nodes with other complications and is incurable. She deteriorated very quickly in the first week. She walked into her flat with me on the discharge day and has deteriorated daily. By day 6 she was in a hospital bed and by day 7 not taking any oral food/medicines and on a syringe driver, barely conscious. The district nurses have been really supportive. This last week she has deteriorated more slowly. This is day 14 she has lost so much weight she looks like a different person and not talking at all. Before she became unconscious she said 'I want to go, why can't I go'. Me, my brother and her friends are really surprised how fast she deteriorated in the first week compared to the second also how much longer she will be here. She seems to be battling on for some reason. I'm sharing this and wondering about other peoples experiences. 

Daffodil 1 month ago

Dear Raphael3,

W e are so sorry to hear about your mum's swift deterioration following her return from hospital two weeks ago. It is good to hear that she, and you and your brother, are well supported by district nurses. It sounds like you are doing a lot for your mum. Thank you very much for reaching out in this forum.

As for the question of your mum hanging on to life when she had expressed the wish to go, I hope other members of the Community are able to share their experiences.

Meanwhile, I don't know if you have explored the resources on the Marie Curie website yet? We know that it can be upsetting to think about the end of someone's life or read descriptions of what may be happening in their final weeks or days. But if you feel ready to access this information, it is available under the heading 'What to expect at the end of life' here: https://www.mariecurie.org.uk/information/end-of-life. This page also contains information about caring for someone at the end of their life. Finally, it is important to look after yourself in this difficult time, too. 

Take good care,

💛 Anke, a Member of the Marie Curie Online Community