unresolved grief

  • Posts: 2
    02/09/2017  23:38

    I am a lady in my 60's.  I lost my brother; the only family member I was really close to 10 years ago.  He was in a coma for a couple of years before he passed away which I found very hard.  In the last 7 years I have moved back to my country of origin after 40 years in the UK and since then I have lost several very close friends to cancer etc.  In addition, I had numerous small accidents breaking my arm, my foot, my pelvis, fracturing my spine etc.  In fact since I moved back to my country of origin I spent almost 5 years on zimmer frames, on crutches etc.  In addition to all of that I recently lost my beloved cousin who was my life-long friend and my next of kin for all legal purposes.  When I moved back I discovered that my extended family were still at war with each other since my mother passed away 40 years ago.  I have nobody to talk to as I miss my friends in the UK and have no longer anything in common with the people where I live.  Since my cousin passed away, I feel totally lost.  She was my anchor in life's difficulties and without warning she was told she had terminal lung cancer.  Since she passed away 9 months ago I have had a series of small illnesses such as recurrent kidney infections, shingles on my face and in my eye and now a rotar cuff injury which is very painful and despite physio is not improving.  I am beginning to think that this is psychosomatic as a result of all the unexpressed grief I am carrying.  Leaving a country where I was very happy, retirement, numerous accidents, house moves, bereavements etc.  I have had it all int he last 10 years.  I belong to a social group one day a week in the nearest city but I have nobody left in the country where I am living who I can really call a friend.  All my support used to come from my friends abroad by phone and email.  Much of that has now gone too as most of them are ill themselves with cancer, strokes etc.  I am sitting here writing this in the early hours as I cannot sleep once again.  I don't know where to turn to as I feel like a ship that has lost its moorings.

  • Posts: 135
    07/09/2017  07:47

    Hi Helen,

     

    It sounds like you have been through a lot of change over the last few years- losing your brother and cousin, moving out of the country and your own health problems. We have some information on our website about coping with change you can find it here. Grieving can be a long process and everybody experiences it differently. Again we have some information that may help you which starts here. Please be aware that the signposting will all be to UK Services. You don’t tell us where you have moved to but are you able to access any counselling services at all?

     

     It is great that you have found a social group to join, even if it is one day a week. Hopefully that will help you to find new friends and support. If you would like to talk to us more about your situation you could always drop us a line via Web Chat:

    https://www.mariecurie.org.uk/help.

     

     

    Best Wishes

     

    Brigette

     

    Marie Curie Support Line 

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