Struggling to cope

Val47 5 years ago

3 replies

Hello,my wonderful husband passed away in September,heras admitted to hospital with stomach pain and after a scan was found to have pancatic cancer,they said there was nothing they could do,it was like a bombshell we actually believed he had gallbladder problem,we did not expect anything like cancer.We were told this in August and three weeks later we lost him,I feel like part of me is missing,just feel so alone and lost,just going through the motions of each day.We were married for 52 years and just don’t know how to manage without him.people keep telling me it’s early days yet and it will get easier just at this time it doesn’t feel like that.any advice on how to get through this would be appreciated.I hope this is ok writing like this,was not sure what to put or wether I have done it right.

Ross 5 years ago

Hello Val47,

We are sorry to read about the passing of your husband and the short time frame in which it occurred. It’s understandable that after 52 years together you say it feels like a part of you is missing. Grief is something that never truly disappears but becomes a smaller more manageable part of us over time. It is important to look after yourself and we feature some information on our website about how to look after yourself here: https://www.mariecurie.org.uk/help/support/bereaved-family-friends/dealing-grief/looking-after-yourself .

You might already be aware of the organisation Cruse Bereavement Care. They may be able to offer some support as well as information about grief. If you feel this would be helpful you can find out more at this link: https://www.cruse.org.uk/ .

People often tell us that it can be helpful to connect with people who have also been bereaved, who can comprehend how things are for you now. We are aware of an existing thread on the community where others are speaking to each other about the loss of their husbands and how they are feeling, https://community.mariecurie.org.uk/chat/not-coping-with-the-recent-death-of-my-wonderful-husband . I hope that the other members on the community may be able to share with you what they found helpful at this difficult time.

Sometimes being able to talk to someone can be helpful and we are here with a listening ear on Freephone 0800 090 2309 or via our webchat function if you feel that would be beneficial.

Take care,

Ross – Support Line Team

Dan1981 5 years ago

Sending you love Val . Ive had 2 major bereavements recently myself so i understand your pain

Val47 5 years ago

Thank you for your kind words,So sorry to hear about your losses,it must be really hard for you,I just feel like I’m existing just one day into the next,can’t sleep.Hope things get better for you over time...