I lost my big Sister on New Years day. She had Primary Lung Cancer which spread just about everywhere.
We were close years ago but became estranged for 16 months.
When she was diagnosed as being Terminal I reached out to her to try to support her.
She bravely fought and fought but went into a semi coma in December because the Cancer had invaded her brain. We made our peace with each other fortunately because the love never left. I am finding it so hard to comprehend that she isn't here anymore. I cry, I get angry at the injustice, then her, then the doctors and then cry again. I'm not finding time is helping like everyone keeps telling me it will! I am feeling it's getting tougher and tougher to accept. I have to hold a lot in because I have a 7 year old daughter who still needs a 'normal' mummy. I have a huge network of friends but can't seem to talk to them and I don't know why. And just to add to all the pain my relationship has just ended too. I feel so lost