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pootle 8 years ago

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Edited by pootle 8 years ago

Hi, I've joint the site as I lost my partner Sue on the 12 July 2016. It happened so very quickly. Within 3 weeks of going into hospital for tests as she felt unwell and her HB was low. Secondary cancer was found in liver, primary unconfirmed. She had mets in spleen and pancreas. I'm still so shocked how all of this seemed so aggressive. Somehow her kidneys also failed though I don't know how. My life feels on hold now as we did everything together when not working. Her funeral was last Friday and was a beautiful tribute to her. I'm hoping to find some comfort and support with others in similar circumstances to myself to deal with this new life I've found myself in. Thank you, Kate.

Support 8 years ago

Hi Kate,

I am sorry to read about the sudden death of your partner, Sue. It takes time to adjust when we have lost somebody we love. It is important to take time to be kind to yourself and to allow yourself to grieve. We have some information on grief which you may find helpful to read: https://www.mariecurie.org.uk/help/bereaved-family-friends/dealing-grief. Many people have told us that it helps to talk so if you would like to talk us at the Support Line please call 0800 090 2309.

Brigette

pootle 8 years ago

Thank you Brigette, hopefully I can find others like myself and we can share our experiences and support each other. Kate

pootle 8 years ago

im also new to the group, my dad has been diagnosed with liver, kidney, lung and bone cancer, he in hospital really sick after going for a check up for an infection, I cant get my head around it and the hospital aren't giving us the family support we all need.

Hi,

Im really sorry to hear your Dad is poorly. Ive been in similar situation when my Mum was ill and we as a family were getting hardly any information. Every time we visited it was always me asking questions , finding out if tests have been done and if so what the results were. The information was never freely given it was always after them being asked by me, sometimes the information was hard to get from them too!

Frustration beyond belief!

My advice... you are completely able to ask for an appointment with your Dads consultant to get an update on his situation and care. You can either ask at the the ward for them to call his/her secretary or get the number and call them yourself.

Also, as your Dad is going to be under the care of the oncology team there should be a carer support group liason officer ( or some such other name).

I had one visit me when my partner was in the hospital.

They are there to support the family of a patient, they are also a sort of go between who can advise you and possibly enable you to find things out.

Look into this, please dont give up, he is your family and you have a right to know all about his care.

Sending good wishes.

Kate.

veletgloss 8 years ago

We got somewhere today, he is coming home hopefully take a week to arrange the bed for my mums house and also the nurses and carer team for him x

pootle 8 years ago

That's great news! He will feel better at home and for you all as a family. Great news x

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