Mum fading fast

juneleigh72 7 years ago

2 replies

My mum was recently diagnosed with Bowel cancer. She has been ill for months and the doctors thought it was her gall bladder. It has taken a long time to get the correct diagnosis and in the interim she has been unable to eat so has become weaker and weaker. Her decline over the last month has been rapid and last week she was admitted to hospital. Her hemoglobin and heart rate were dangerously low but after 6 blood transfusions she has stabilised. The doctors have told us that the cancer has spread to her bones and she also has a tumour in her breast. She is too weak for any aggressive form of treatment. It is just a matter of keeping her comfortable and managing her symptoms. We've been told we only have a matter of days or weeks left with her.

My dad doesn't keep very well either and my brother sadly passed away 23 years ago so I am essentially the only child. I also have a 10 year old daughter who is very close to her gran. I feel like I need to be strong for everyone but the pressure is building everyday. What do I do?

Tina19 7 years ago

Hello Juneleigh82 

I'm sorry to read of your distressing situation although I understand words are not adequate.  I am a member of the Sue Ryder Online Community Forum usually.  I wholeheartedly recommend you giving it a go as it's a very active and compassionate forum for those affected by illness/bereavement.  I log on here occasionally to see if anyone has posted that has experience of CHF.  

I wish I could tell you something positive. All you can do is to get through each day in one piece as it comes along.  Try not to worry about being strong you will manage it somehow even if you don't think so. Just be the best advocate for your Mum you can be and make sure they look after her well and question medical staff if you are not sure of anything.  I wish I had done that more often when my Husband was being cared for in hospital and I regret that now.  At the time though you think everything is being done that should be and it's not always the case.  

I wish you strength and compassion, please have a think about the Sue Ryder forum.  Kindest regards.  Tina.

juneleigh72 7 years ago

Thank you for your kind reply Tina19. I will definitely think about the Sue Ryder forum.