How can I recognize when his last days are drawing near?

zain 1 year ago

2 replies

I'm assisting with my Dad's end-of-life care, and it's becoming clear that his condition is deteriorating rapidly. He has been given only weeks to live, and his mobility has declined significantly. We've had to provide him with various aids to keep him comfortable at home, which is where he wants to be. His appetite has greatly diminished, and his fluid intake is insufficient. Over the past two days, he's been increasingly drowsy, often dozing or sleeping. Today, while the nurse was here to bathe him, he experienced a brief seizure and became sick afterward. Thankfully, he recovered within a few minutes, but it's been a concerning development.

All of these changes have occurred within just one week, and it's left me wondering if these are his final days or if there's more time. I'm uncertain about the stage of his condition and how to plan and support him in these moments. My Mum is staying busy to cope with her fears. How can I provide assistance and support during this challenging time?

admin 1 year ago

Hello Zain,

Welcome to our Online Community.

We’re sorry to read that your dad’s condition is deteriorating rapidly.

When someone’s receiving end of life care, and they’re experiencing changes it’s natural to wonder how long they may have left to live. 

Everyone’s experiences are different but there are some changes that can happen near to the end of someone’s life that may be signs that they are dying.

We have information on our webpage about what to expect at the end of life, it can be difficult to read so please take your time and feel free to come back to it again at any point: https://www.mariecurie.org.uk/help/support/terminal-illness/preparing/what-to-expect .

We also have a short video about signs of dying that you may find helpful to watch: https://www.mariecurie.org.uk/help/support/being-there/end-of-life-preparation/signs-of-dying .

Have you spoken to your dads GP or nurse about how you may be able to support him in these moments?

We have some information on things you may wish to consider when making your dad’s room comfortable that you may find helpful here: https://www.mariecurie.org.uk/help/support/being-there/caring/comfortable-bed. 

Sometimes being there and letting your family know that you’re there to support them at this time can be a huge comfort as well.

If you or mum would like to speak to us at any time, our Community is here for you.

Take care,

Bonnie

Jan1 1 year ago

Edited by Jan1 1 year ago

Good afternoon Zain,

my name is Jan a hospice based Marie Curie Nurse, on the Information and Support Line.

I am so sorry to hear that your Dad is less well at the moment, and Dad and the family are going through a challenging time right now.

You have done the right thing by reaching out to us Zain, but equally important to consider having this conversation with the healthcare professionals currently looking after your Dad.

Whilst I am not able to comment on Dads current condition, I do not feel that it is unreasonable to ask these pertinent questions of the GP or District Nurse, as maybe helpful to support you all in the coming days ahead.

https://www.mariecurie.org.uk/help/support/being-there/end-of-life-preparation/home

If however, you feel it may be more beneficial to speak to some one on the Support line, or to book a nurse call back, then reach out to us on:

0800 090 2309

Take care for now,

Jan