I am truly sorry for your losses. My heart goes out to you.
Its one of those things you can try to explain to people how it feels but you can't cos words dont come close. I've been an emotional wreck past month and a half since hes been diagnosed. Calciphylaxia makes the veins and arteries calcify and blood can no longer go thru so the skin starts to go necrotic then eventually he'll pass from sepsis. It spreaded slowly but only recently irs gotten worse. He had it in his stomach and groin area at first but now they think its gone to his bottom. He was blocked for 2wks.
Today he seems a lot better jus a bit "drunk" (hes been singing and telling people he loves them) but nowhere near as bad as last night. The doctors admitted the pain patch on his arm was too high a dose so hes back to lower ones. He says hes not going back to the hospice and is going home (hes had to stay overnight due to low blood pressure).
I dont want to lose my dad, nobody does do they but i cannot bear tl see him suffer. Its so indignifying and heartbreaking. I was truly heartbroken last night after i went to see him.
My sister knew how upset i was so found me a few links to talk to people in same situation, hence why i'm on here.
It's one of those things where you question everything, like for me, my angry side says that you wouldnt put an animal thru suffering so why a human being? But then my other side says everyone deserves a chance at life.
I am really sorry for your losses. I hope theyve both found peace and so have you. Thank you for replying, it means a lot.