Heart breaking

anu10 9 years ago

14 replies

My mum was first diagnosed with cervical cancer 12 years ago, she had a radical hysterectomy. 10 years ago she had cancer of the vagina stage 2,she batteled through radio and chemo...4 years ago we found out she had lung cancer..it was a new cancer..we were gutted.mum still bravely marched forward and had her who lung removed...just whwn we thought everything was ok it came bk in her other lung and brain. They told us she woukd only live for 2 weeks if we didnt operate. At first mum refused treatment but then went for surgery and gammer radio...a brave lady i know..now there isnt anything else they can do and shes under pallative care. She has good days and bad..but is slowly sinking...to add to this my dad has been diagnosed with colon cancer.mri yet to be done...its so hard seeing them go through this and i hate seeing them suffer..im finding it all really hard to accept and understand..i just want them to be safe and happy...its all so hard to deal with. I am married and have achild but i cant concentrate on anything else....

Sapphire 9 years ago

My heart goes out to you, my dad has colon cancer and I know how I feel but to have both parents so ill is almost unbearable.  I wonder what kind of support you have.  Do you have good friends you can talk to and who don't mind if you, as I find I do, say the same things again and again.  I know you posted three weeks ago and things could be different now but if you have time let us know how things are for you and remember to use this site if you need to get anything off your chest x

TheHodCarrier 9 years ago

Hi anu10,

My heart goes out to you - although that doesn't help you.

Your mum seems to have been very brave and very unlucky, and I can understand why you write 'im finding it all really hard to accept and understand'. I think it is impossible 'to understand' and accepting it, is very difficult, and very hard indeed.

I can't help - but I think Sapphire might have written something useful.

anu10 9 years ago

Thank you for replying... i feal like my head is going to blow..its like life has come to a stand still and all around me is cancer cancer....mum had severe new pain in her back saturday i had to take her to hospital. Chances are some of her cancer has gone near her shoulder blade. They just cant seem to get the pain under control which worries me..i can tell looking at her she slipping away.shes withdrawn. ...gets angry quickly..not eating as much...more pain...its just so cruel that familiy have to see this. Its like someone stabbing you and twisting the knife round..dads getting his treatment plan thursday but hes just lost all hope in everything after seeing mum go down...

anu10 9 years ago

Sorry i didnt answer i have amazing friends but im finding im pushing them away at the minute and want to be alone. Everything just seems to irritate me and i find myself repeating it again and again...

Sapphire 9 years ago

Just answer when you are ready that's not a problem.  You have so much to cope with I can understand why you would want some time to yourself.  I also find myself irritated by things and when I really think about it they are things that don't really matter.  I am sure your friends understand and respect your wish to be on your own but don't spend too much time alone.  I don't work now but go out most days.  I find that Sundays are my worst days because I have too much time to think about what is going to happen next.

I hope your Mum's pain becomes more manageable and your dad's treatment plan brings some kind of comfort.  I can't say anymore except don't push your friends too far away, you will need them, and although I don't know you I do think of you and your family and wish you the best it can be.