death of my husband

Lindaaitch 1 year ago

1 reply

my husband was diagnosed with terminal cancer in July and died in October at home where he wanted to be. he was in no pain throughout. but the last hour of his death was horrendous, he was in so much anguish but couldn't speak just shouted and moaned, his head raising up and down. as if he was fighting his death its 8 weeks now and its all i can think about, its in my mind constantly.

i was with both my parents when they died but they died peacefully.

Is this a normal occurrence with some deaths or is this unusual. i don't know if he was trying to communicate with me or not

David 1 year ago

Edited by David 1 year ago

Hello Lindaaitch,

Welcome again to our Marie Curie Online Community and we are sorry to hear about everything you’re experiencing after the loss of your husband.

The memories of those last moments can be so difficult and it sounds like you're understandably struggling with what you saw. It can be normal if you find the memories intrusive and it is hard to move away from them. Although grief doesn’t usually stay the same over time, if you feel stuck you might want to consider options for bereavement support or counselling. We have information on our website about this:

• www.mariecurie.org.uk/help/support/bereaved-family-friends/dealing-grief/bereavement-or-grief-counselling

While everyone’s experience can be different at the very end of life, sadly there are times when people become agitated in the final moments. This can be difficult for families.

If it would help to talk more with us about what you witnessed and how it’s left you feeling, our Support Line team are here for emotional support as well as information on Freephone 0800 090 2309 or through webchat at www.mariecurie.org.uk

Take care,

David – Support Line Officer