Hi, just over 5 years ago I lost my sister in a car accident when I was only 16.
Being the 'man' I thought I had to be I instinctively tried to repress any emotion I got from this, which initially put me in a very bad place for around a year and a bit. Since then I feel like I have become more positive and overall better but it still doesn't stop me thinking about my sister many many times every single day. Its sometimes something I can't even take my mind off and some days it just consumes me. I really wish I could be completely open with my emotions and let everything just flow out of me but I find it very hard to open up. In fact, most new people I have met in my life within the last 5 years do not even know that this has happened to me.
I need to find a way to stop having this constantly linger on my mind and bring me down, I need to become more open and emotionally in general, but I don't know where to begin and what to do. I really think this is having a big over arching impact on my life and stopping me from ultimately achieving happiness.