Being there for mum who has lung cancer

Ryanj92 6 years ago

1 reply

Hi, I'm very new to this and struggling just to write this out. My mum was diagnosed with lung cancer back in October, I believe its terminal but she's been put on a treatment of pembrolizumab. She's basically functioning on only one lung as the effected lung has collapsed, basically though I guess I've come here to ask how people cope. My heads been in a pretty bad place recently seeing my mum going through this. My mum and my younger brother are the only real family I have, and trying to stay strong for them both is a real struggle when your watching your mum basically waste away in front of you and there's nothing at all you can do. Me and my brother both work and she's stuck at home all day by herself which upsets me, she isn't able to move far due to her breathing. I think I'm just asking how other people cope watching a loved one waste away in front of them, as I'm worried and struggling so much.

Support 6 years ago

Edited by Support 6 years ago

Hi Ryanj92

I’m so sorry to read about your mum’s illness, and the effect this is having on you as you are trying to cope whilst watching your mum’s health deteriorate.

Experiencing a major change in life such as witnessing a loved one face an illness can be a shock and difficult to cope with. You mention that you are worried you are struggling so much, have you recently spoken to your GP about how you are feeling? Counselling services can normally be accessed through your GP or through the specialist nurse that your mum could have access to. If mum hasn’t got access to this person, you may want to ask her oncologist or GP about this.

You may already be aware that Macmillan features some information on their website about the many different emotions you may experience and some ways of coping with a loved one’s cancer diagnosis. You may find this information helpful to take a look at by clicking here: https://www.macmillan.org.uk/information-and-support/coping/your-emotions/someone-close-has-cancer .

Sometimes reaching out to others for support can also be a comfort and people often tell us that talking to others who may be experiencing a similar situation can be a supportive way of doing this. You can search for face to face support that may be available to you through the Macmillan website here: https://www.macmillan.org.uk/in-your-area/choose-location.html .

Whilst you are supporting your mum with her illness, everyday responsibilities such as work can be so difficult and it understandable that you are upset at the thought of your mum being at home all day alone. There are sometimes local organisations that could offer a form of befriending support to mum at home that you may want to take a look at on their website. You can visit the Royal Voluntary Service website here and Age UK website here .

We do hope that this information helps. On our Support Line we are available to offer a listening ear if you, your younger brother or your mum ever need to talk to someone. You can reach us by calling Free phone 0800 090 2309, or you can drop us a line via Web Chat:

https://www.mariecurie.org.uk/help/support/marie-curie-support-line 

Best Wishes

Sam

Marie Curie Support Line