89 year old father diagnosed with terminal cancer. Shell shocked.

mrswottinger 8 years ago

1 reply

Edited by mrswottinger 8 years ago

We've had the shocking news this week that my FIL has terminal cancer in the Oesophogus. They also found it in his liver, brain and bones.

He is currently in hospital having had an operation to insert a stent into his oesophogus so he can eat. His consultants are meeting on Wednesday to discuss the way forward but what they have said so far seems the prognosis is not good. We'll know the precise details after they have met on Wednesday.

This has taken us all by surprise. He was getting frailer but he hates going to the doctors and kept putting it down to indigestion. My SIL is sick with Fibromyalgia, my husband is on medication and talking therapy for PTSD. 

We have two children, an 18 year old and a 7 year old. My husband works full time and is on a phased return after a mental health relapse. I work part time. My SIL works full time.

I am scared. We were under a lot of pressure as a family before this, we want to do the best by our dad. Would someone have to give up work? I don't think my husband is mentally strong enough. #

Clare 8 years ago

Hi mrswottinger,

I am sorry to hear of your father-in-law’s diagnosis. Most people and their families initially feel shock, disbelief and worry about how they will all cope and the changes this news will involve. While supporting someone who is living with a terminal illness can be rewarding, it is natural to feel scared especially when as a family you are already under pressure. We have lots of information to help you make a decision on becoming a carer which you may find useful - http://ttps://www.mariecurie.org.uk/help/being-there/helping-someone-cope/becoming-a-carer. There is also information on organisations that may be able to help you to care for your father –in-law - https://www.mariecurie.org.uk/help/terminal-illness/care-needs. If you would like to talk this through with us please call the Support Line on 0800 090 2309.