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    2 replies

    Good morning everybody. 

    Our family carries a faulty genetic gene. Our mum has now started with symptoms. My sister and I carry this gene too. So just a matter of time. 

    Our mum lives on her own about 20 miles away from us. She is almost at the stage where she can no longer live on her own. She has a council bungalow. I don't have a clue where to go for help. 

    Desperately want her to be moved nearer to us. That way we can be with her everyday. How do I sort this out? 

    Any help and advice will be so gratefully received. I feel like I'm drowning in everything. She is getting more and more depressed. She had to watch her sister die from this so she knows what's to come. 

    Thank you so much for taking the time to read this. Xxx

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    Good morning Duckyducky. Sorry to hear that your family are enduring such a difficult time. It must be extremely difficult for you all. I have only recently joined this Community myself. I was widowed to cancer at 29 and, although it was some years ago now, I thought that I could potentially offer some words of support to those supporting a relative/ friend through illness. I wondered if you had had the opportunity to meet with any of the professionals involved in your Mum’s care about her care plan? This could help you with forward planning of practical support that she will need. You mention that she is in a council bungalow so a call to the Adult Social Services department within her local council could be a starting point? I am sure that there will be others on here who can better signpost you in the necessary directions. You mention that your Mum is becoming depressed, is her own GP aware of this so help can be offered? You must remember to look after and be kind to yourself also at a time like this. Being a carer for an ill relative is very demanding, both physically and emotionally so it’s important that you have a support network around you too. Hopefully this Community can be a part of that support you need. Take care. x

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  • MarkWilkin

    Hi sorry to hear things are this hard. I'd echo Suzie in the above post and say that contacting your local council's social services department is definitely a good place to start. Your mother's GP or the District Nurse can also arrange for extra care like a Marie Curie nurse if that's appropriate as well.

    Here's a list of other people who might be able to help you that it would be worth contacting locally as well. 

    Also this page is guide to palliative care and end of life care that might help make things clearer about what it all means. 

    There's also a few practical things that can help, Marie Curie has a helper service which can offer your mum the help of a trained volunteer. There's some more detail on what they can do to help here.

    Hope that helps.

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