Sister so unsupportive

  • 02/05/2019  11:05

    Hi all I hope I can share this with you all and ask for your help

    5 months ago , after no signs of illness? I was diagnosed with a rare and incurable Cancer Cholangiocarcinoma ... bile duct cancer I’m having chemo as palliative shrink and hold , but prognosis for me is likely short, and I’m dying.

    This has been very difficult for me to get my head around but the worst bit is my twin sister ... she lacks sympathy and empathy and constantly keeps making me feel a nuisance for having this. I’ve been trying to plan some nice things and she just keeps coming up with barriers as to why not .. ie loose bowels Everything I say to her to try and understand how I feel ... she just throws it back at me , that I’m wishing she had it not me !!! 🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️

    That’s not the case ... of course I wish I did not have it ... but fails to see what I need, how it’s messed with my head and how to help ... it seems all so begrudged. I’m scared and very frightened but she just lives her life almost flaunting what she can do ... and never gives me a thought of how could I do this.

    Latest example as I’m due to go to Chelsea football club on Sunday to the last game of the season. I’m a season ticket holder and I’ve not been all season? because I’ve had loose bowels over the last two days she points out, How would I cope with the journey? I said we can take a bucket and a towel and some toilet roll and she said I can’t cope with that I’m not stopping to let you do that perhaps you don’t need to go then because you need to think how having diarrhoea makes me feel... !!!! Again making about her and how she’s reacting!!

    Views how to handle please And how to stop feeling like I’m always in the wrong

  • Posts: 10
    03/05/2019  10:43

    Hello Caroline jcb,


    Thank you for sharing your experience on the community and I hope that others community members reading this will join in the with the conversation and share their experience with you.


    I am sorry to read about your prognosis and the impact that it is having on your relationship with your sister. Many people talk to us about how they are feeling and about difficult family dynamics. If you feel you would benefit from a listening ear and a space to talk about how you are feeling we are here to listen. You can contact us via freephone 0800 090 2309 or continue to message with us here.


    You may already be aware of an organisation called the British Liver Trust. They offer information and support to people affected by liver disease including Cholangiocarcinoma. It may be worth contacting them to see they can support yourself or inform you of any support groups that you may be able to make contact with.


    Take Care,