Scared

Skrtsmiller 6 years ago

2 replies

I am caring for my partner who has been diagnosed with stage 3 terminal cancer. He is about half way through his 4th chemo and in such a lot of pain despite being given as much pain relief as he can manage. He has just had a scan to see if the chemo is working and we now have a week to wait fir results. This pain has just been in the last few days and I am so scared that the tumour has grown rather than shrunk. He has also (from the scan) just been diagnosed with a blood clot on his right lung. The news just seems to keep getting worse and worse. I don't want to think of life without him but it seems to fill my every waking thought. Pretty selfish I know but I am so frightened for him.

Support 6 years ago

Hello Skrtsmiller,

I’m sorry to read about your partners diagnosis and all that you’re both experiencing.

You mention that your partner has been experiencing a lot of pain recently. Here on our Support Line unfortunately we aren’t medically trained so as you have concerns about this we would suggest for you to get in touch with a health care professional such as his GP or specialist nurse if you haven’t already done so. If you need medical support outside of GP opening hours, we have information about accessing services here: https://www.mariecurie.org.uk/help/support/terminal-illness/care-needs/out-of-hours-care

Coping with change and uncertainty can be challenging and there really is no right or wrong to way feel. You may find that your emotions fluctuate regularly and rapidly and it is understandable that you say you feel frightened about what may be ahead. 

Supporting a loved one through their illness can evoke powerful emotions for both people. Information about how to cope with feelings that you may be experiencing as a carer can be found on our website here: https://www.mariecurie.org.uk/help/support/being-there/helping-someone-cope/dealing-with-feelings .

Many people tell us that they find it helpful to talk to someone about how they are feeling. If you or your partner ever need a listening ear, please call our Freephone Support Line on 0800 090 2309, or you can get in touch with us through our web chat function here: https://www.mariecurie.org.uk/help/support/marie-curie-support-line  

Take care

Ross

Marie Curie Support Line

Skrtsmiller 6 years ago

Thank you so much for your reply. We're having a lot of help with pain control but nothing seems to be working very well. I will give your phone line a call. Caring for someone you love is a very lonely place to be and I think talking about things would help. Thank you again. You guys are incredible!