Reaching out

lizziebee 4 years ago

3 replies

Hi

I'm new to carer's corner and just having a bad start to the day. My husband was diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer and secondary brain metastases in December 2018. He's had chemo/immuno therapy for the last 13 months  but the illness is progressing and in December last was given a 6 months prognosis. Due to the brain mets he has virtually lost the use of his left leg and now needs a zimmer frame in the house and a wheelchair. I retired from work to become his full-time carer. On Saturday he had to go to A&E due to a urine problem where it was found that his oxygen levels were low and his is currently in hospital on oxygen having various tests to try and find the root of the urine and oxygen problems. The most obvious things have been ruled out. I think what has upset me today is that it suddenly seems to real and scary. When he comes home we will have to deal with a catheter and possibly oxygen in addition to all of his current disabilities. As a once active man his whole world has shrunk to nothing and he is very depressed, and he doesn't really have any fighting spirit anymore. Sitting at home without him for the fourth morning I have been hit with the truth of what is going to happen and I am feeling very low. Suddenly very alone. Anyone out there who knows how it feels?

Hannah11 4 years ago

Hi Lizziebee,

Thank you for joining our Online Community and sharing your experience with us and others. We’re sorry to read about your husband’s diagnosis and all that you are going through.

It’s understandable that due to recent events that you are finding things scary. People often share that they find it difficult to see their loved one’s condition affect them in the ways it has. It’s important to know that although you feel alone, you don’t have to be. We hope that others will see your post and share their experiences with you.

People often tell us that talking can be helpful and our Support Line is here to offer a safe space and listening ear if you need to talk. You can reach us on Freephone 0800 090 2309, or by continuing to chat on this community. As well as offering a listening ear we may be able to suggest other organisations you might find helpful at this time.

Take care,

Hannah – Support Line Officer

lizziebee 4 years ago

Thank you Hannah. In anticipation of his return home from hospital we have decided to set up a room downstairs as a bedroom and I have spent the last two days preparing the room. Having a practical task to carry out has definitely helped me. I will consider the support line for the future.

thanks

Lizziebee

Hannah11 4 years ago

Hi Lizziebee,

Thank you for sharing this with me, it’s positive to hear that having a practical task over the last few days has helped you. We feature some information on our website about making someone’s room comfortable that you may find useful to look at here: https://www.mariecurie.org.uk/help/support/being-there/caring/comfortable-bed

As always, if you need us we’re here for you on Freephone 0800 090 2309 or here on the community. 

Take care,

Hannah – Support Line Officer