pulmonary fribrosis

welshman89 7 years ago

2 replies

Hi all,

Not done anything like this before, but I just needed to reach out anonymously.

My Father was diagnosed with IPF a few years back and he's only got a short time left.

I am a Police Officer and my job is to help people in need and I feel absolutely rubbish that I cannot help the closest to me. My Mother is very supportive and I need to be there for her as she is putting on a brave face and trying her hardest to not be upset that her husband is not going to be around much longer.

I can't help but feel devastated by this and all I am trying to do is spend time with my Father and be there for my Mother.

I go through all different kinds of emotions on a daily basis ranging from sadness to anger. I feel its all a bit too much at the moment and I do not know where to turn.

I do not have any questions to ask as nothing is going to make my Father well again, I just thought I needed to type this out and put it out there and welcome others to comment.

Thanks.   

Support 7 years ago

Hi Welshman89,

Thank you for contacting the Marie Curie community. I am sorry to hear that your father has the Idiopathic pulmonary fibrosis condition.

 You say that you are a police officer, and in your role you are used to dealing and taking control of difficult situations, and you further say that you feel frustrated that you cannot help those closest to you. Feelings such as frustration, anger and a sense of sadness are all perfectly normal emotions and part of the anticipatory grief process.

It is great that you are able to spend time with your parents supporting them both in any way you can. Lots of people tell us how important it is to make the time that you have together as meaningful as you can, whether that is discussing practical issues and your Father’s wishes or simply holding hands.

We have information about coping with feelings which you may find helpful here: https://www.mariecurie.org.uk/help/being-there/helping-someone-cope/dealing-with-feelings .

If you would like to talk about things in more detail please call our Free phone Support Line on 0800 090 2309, or drop us a line via Web Chat:

https://www.mariecurie.org.uk/help

Best Wishes

Steve

Marie Curie Support Line

sopsand 7 years ago

Hi welshman89, 

I feel that reaching out anonymously is probably one of the best decisions you could make in your situation. The more you get a chance to release your 'sadness' and 'anger' the more your thoughts unfold, your mind clears, and things begin to make sense. Although, you may find over time that your feelings will not change at all, but your ability to cope with them definitely will. 

I am so sorry for what you are going through, no one deserves to be in that situation. From experience, I would say start start encouraging your father to live with IPF and not to die with it; there is a clear distinction between the two. 

There are many things we can't control in life, sadly death and time are two hard hits among many. You will get lots of hits in life, and its how you rebound that defines you. So keep fighting, keep being strong and supportive for your mother and father, but most of all don't stop reaching out, there are many people out there who would be honoured to be your shoulder to cry on, me included.

Sophsand