Prostate cancer

Essex1 6 years ago

1 reply

Edited by Essex1 6 years ago

NMy dad was diagnosed with prostrate cancer two years a go he is 85 now and he was treated with hormone therapy. This went on OK until January of this year when he started to struggle. It ended up with his count rising very quickly then he was told it was progressing rapidly. He became quite ill and ended up with a catheter as he could not pee himself. He was told that this was now terminal and admitted to a hospice.  He was there for two weeks where they stabilised his pain relief as he had been near to paint out and falling over.  The new problem was he could not pass stools so he was given enimers and stuff to give him diarrhoea so he could go. He was told it had spread to his bones specifically his pelvis describing it like holes in cheese. It is now a tuner in his rectrum and has spread to his liver.  He fell and ended up in hospital where he is currently. He has been told in order to go home he needs careers Marie curie pathway has been mentioned but that is it my mum is 83 and does not know what this means and I am 300 miles away so am not with her to ask. She is petrified of him coming home as she had a stroke and has a Grammy hand and cannot cope if he falls or with his. Meds . He is completely cognitive and wants to be home and is demanding she sorts this.  She struggles to hear and I think she doesn't get to see the doctors so is rely on what dad tells her.  What does this care look like and how can she move this on as she cannot cope with dad being cantankerous with her as it appears to be out of her control. They won't let him home without the care in place.  Any comments welcome I feel so useless but have to work I travel home as often as I can but it never seems to be the right time I go home he does well and when I am far away again it all goes bad.  My dad is frightened and wants to be home and my mum wants him there but is frightened that he cannot cope and give him the care he needs. Desperate for some ideas 

Support 6 years ago

Hello Essex1,

Trying to support your parents while living so far away is not easy especially when they are both feeling frightened and uncertain.

Do you think your dad would give permission for one of the staff involved in arranging his discharge to speak to you? If so then hopefully you could arrange a time to talk with them to get a better understanding of what support they are looking to put in place and when. It might be that as well as the ward staff a discharge liaison nurse or a palliative care nurse are involved and could talk to you. The NHS have a useful page on the process of being discharged from hospital https://www.nhs.uk/NHSEngland/AboutNHSservices/NHShospitals/Pages/leaving-hospital.aspx

Your mum has said that our support has been mentioned. We work in partnership with the NHS and so the exact service we provide varies according to what support the local NHS trust has decided that it needs from us. The hospital should be able to tell you this but in the meantime, I hope that a general description of what our nurses do will be useful -

They generally provide one-to-one nursing care and support overnight in a person’s home, usually for eight or nine hours. In some areas, we also offer care for a shorter period of time, or during the evening or daytime, as well as care at very short notice in a crisis.

It may also be that the hospital is looking to provide support through something called NHS continuing health care (CHC) as they might use the term ‘pathway’ when discussing this. Our information on NHS CHC may be helpful to  you,  https://www.mariecurie.org.uk/help/support/terminal-illness/care-needs/continuing-healthcare-assessment

I hope this information is of some help, we are here if you want to talk about any of it further. Hopefully others here on the community will be able to share their own ideas on how they have supported their parents through similar difficult times.

Take care

Clare – Marie Curie Support Line