Oesophageal Cancer

sadson90 6 years ago

3 replies

Hi there, i was nervous coming on here as i have never done such a thing with regards to forums. However, i am here and ive plucked up the courage.

I am looking for information on the above topic. My farther was diagnosed in April and was told after his scan he was terminal. He is now on his second set of chemo and at the end of his first set he was starting to have the ability to eat again and found his apetite (pleasing). Chemo started at a vital time as he was beginning to struggle swallowing liquids. He is very thin and scans showed it had spread to his lungs (mildly). My father doesnt want to know life expectancy understandably. However, i do. I feel selfish for wanting to find out and i hope someone can help give me answers. I am so close with my father and since hes told me ive not felt myself, however, i have been there for him and continued as notrmal. Also, is there obvious signs hes starting to deteriorate or does it come quick? I am so happy he has managed to eat again but something is holding me back getting over excited. 

Thanks

S

Support 6 years ago

Hi SadSon90

I am sorry to read about your father’s diagnosis. I am so pleased you have been able to reach out for support .We can provide you with some information to read and other forum members may be able to share their personal experiences with you.

Everybody reacts to the information they are given about their condition in very different ways, all of which are normal and none of which are wrong. So whilst it is ok that your father doesn’t want to know his prognosis, it is not wrong that you do. Some people like to research and to plan and to know what to expect. Would he give you permission to speak to his health care professionals to find this information out?

You can speak to nurses on the Cancer Research helpline (0808 800 4040) and they may be able to provide you with some general information about the progression of Oesophageal cancer.

The information we have here https://www.mariecurie.org.uk/help/support/being-there which may help you to understand both the emotional and practical challenges that can be involved with caring for a loved one with a terminal illness.

Many people tell us that being able to talk to somebody outside of the family can help them to process their thoughts and feelings. Our Support Line is able to provide emotional support and a listening ear, as well as information and signposting. If you would like to talk about your situation in more detail with us our opening hours are Monday to Friday 8am to 6pm and on a Saturday 11am to 5pm. You can reach us on our Freephone 0800 090 2309, or through our live web chat function here: https://www.mariecurie.org.uk/help/support/marie-curie-support-line 

Take care,

Brigette  

Marie Curie Support Line

sadson90 6 years ago

Brigette 

Support 6 years ago

SadSon90

If your father has given you permission and you feel you would cope better by knowing then it could be the next step for you. Guilt is an emotion that many people feel for whatever reason when they are supporting their loved ones; but I don't think you should feel like you are sneaking behind his back when he has given you permission. You will know when the time is right to ask these questions. Trust your gut instincts.

Remember if you need to talk we are here to listen.

Take Care 

Brigette 

Marie Curie Support Line.