No way forward

Bradlkei 8 years ago

3 replies

I lost my partner 2 weeks ago. I have been with her for the past 30 years. We did everything together. Kath was 61 years old and died from a inter cranial haemorrhage . Our family have been brilliant but I feel that I can't see any point in being here as I can't find a starting point. 

Clare 8 years ago

Hi Bradlkei, we are so sorry to hear about the death of your partner. It sounds as if you and Kath had a wonderful relationship. Grieving is a painful process and this is especially so when the loss is so very recent. Even when you have a supportive family feeling that there is no point in being here can be a common emotion at this time. These feelings can be overwhelming, if you find it becomes too much then it is important to remember it is ok to ask for help, this can be from someone like your GP. Talking about how you are feeling can be very helpful; don’t worry about having the “right” words to express how you feel. Some people find going to a group where they can talk to other bereaved people helpful, others prefer to talk one to one. You may wish to look at Cruse Bereavement Care’s website – www.cruse.org.uk.  We are here for you on the community and if you feel it would help you to speak to someone please also contact us on our support line – 0800 090 2309.

MaggieHutch 8 years ago

Hi Bradlkei,

I feel exactly the same - I lost my lovely husband of 34 years together and this is terrifying. I feel there is no purpose any more. I  am so alone and no-one's priority. It has been 7 weeks now and it is actually getting worse - the novelty of the house on my own has worn off and the friends are back to their own lives. How do people manage to keep going?

Lillyanna 8 years ago

Hi Bradlkei


Sorry to hear about your loss of your partner. It is hard, it's coming up to 4yrs that I lost my husband & it still hurts & I still cry & miss him every day. 

It is true that you don't get over it, but learn to live with it.  And sadly everyone gets on with their lives & you feel like screaming what about me..... I have no family & my friends are married or have partners & my best friend lives away & it's very difficult to deal with.  I threw myself into decorating my house & anyone who wanted furniture painting, it got me through for a while & then the whole reality sinks back in again. I did think of ending it all, but I'm still here writing to you. 

People say they know you feel, but they don't.  If you feel like crying & shouting & kick a few things, then do it, don't bottle it all up, talk Kath, all the things you did, the things that made you laugh & the things that annoyed you, it's all part of this horrid time of your life. 

I talk to Tony every day & im sure you talk to Kath. Take care & most of all look after your self. 

Lillyanna.