Sorry to hear about your loss of your partner. It is hard, it's coming up to 4yrs that I lost my husband & it still hurts & I still cry & miss him every day.
It is true that you don't get over it, but learn to live with it. And sadly everyone gets on with their lives & you feel like screaming what about me..... I have no family & my friends are married or have partners & my best friend lives away & it's very difficult to deal with. I threw myself into decorating my house & anyone who wanted furniture painting, it got me through for a while & then the whole reality sinks back in again. I did think of ending it all, but I'm still here writing to you.
People say they know you feel, but they don't. If you feel like crying & shouting & kick a few things, then do it, don't bottle it all up, talk Kath, all the things you did, the things that made you laugh & the things that annoyed you, it's all part of this horrid time of your life.
I talk to Tony every day & im sure you talk to Kath. Take care & most of all look after your self.