No emotions since mum passed away

Kerry 6 years ago

8 replies

Edited by Kerry 6 years ago

Since mum passed away two years ago, I have no emotions about anything in any area of life. I feel I died inside with my mum. I didn’t feel any emotions on mums death, I didn’t cry or feel sadness, and haven’t done since, even though she was an amazing beloved mum and best friend. I feel dead inside and it’s affecting my life, I don’t know what to do.

Support 6 years ago

Hello Kerry

I am sorry to read about the loss of your mum and all that you are going through.

Everyone experiences the loss of a loved one differently, in a way that is unique to them. You have told us that you have no emotions about anything in any area of your life and that you feel dead inside which is affecting your life, have you tried talking about these feelings with your GP? These professionals are there to oversee all of your physical health needs along with your mental health needs, so we would suggest a chat with your doctor in the first instance if you haven’t already done so.

People often tell us that talking about our emotions can help us to process and understand them. Some people say that it helps when we speak them aloud. We have information about how you can access support on our website that you may find useful here: https://www.mariecurie.org.uk/help/support/bereaved-family-friends/dealing-grief/bereavement-or-grief-counselling . Your GP should also be able to direct you towards appropriate services too. 

On our Support Line we are here to listen if you need someone to talk to, you can reach us on Freephone 0800 090 2309. You can also message us privately through this Community Forum by clicking on our name or logo and selecting ‘private message’. Please note that we are only here until 5pm today however I have put some other Support options below for you in case you want support outside of our opening hours:

•          The Bereavement Trust are there to offer support to anyone that has experienced the loss of a loved one. Their support line is open from 6pm until 10pm every evening and you can reach them on 0800 435 455.
  

•          The Samaritans are there to offer a safe place for you to talk any time you like, in your own way about whatever is getting to you. You can visit their website here: https://www.samaritans.org/how-we-can-help-you/contact-us or call them for free on 116 123. They are available 24 hours a day.
  

It’s important to know that you don’t have to go through bereavement alone, I hope that you will find the above information useful, do get in touch with us if you would like to talk about any of this in more detail or if you need a listening ear.

Our opening hours are 8am – 6pm Monday to Friday and 11am to 5pm Saturday. You can also contact us during these hours through our web chat function by clicking here: https://www.mariecurie.org.uk/help/support/marie-curie-support-line

Take care,

Sam

Marie Curie Support Line 

LadyB 6 years ago

Hi Kerry,

I also lost my mum 2 years ago. Not a day goes by without thinking of her. I'm not an emotional person either, and find it hard to open up. I do recommend counselling though. With a counsellor you can just sit, laugh, cry or chat about times with your mum. In my experience I wasn't sure if the counselling was "working", but found myself getting home from it and either being moody, or crying my eyes out in my bedroom away from the husband and kids. I found the nightmares stopped, and I started sleeping better. I found counselling helped without me realising at the time. It was only when I looked back I realised that I had got through another week, and I had slept at night without waking up every couple of hours.

I also took up exercise which helped my mind massively.

Wishing you the best of luck x

Sarah18 6 years ago

Hi I lost my mum in August this year, she passed with cancer and I was with her holding her hand when she passed. I’m struggling with dreams of her passing. Me and mum was really close and I helped her all the way through her illness which was hard watching her get worse every day. Most days I feel lost without her. My family have been great but I don’t like showing I’m upset in front of them. I’ve tried to occupy myself when off work but all I seem to do is think of my mum all the time. Sometimes when I’m home alone I can get upset where I get to a point where I can’t breathe. My mum ment the world to me and I’m struggling each day without her.

Bonnie 6 years ago

Hello Sarah18,

I am sorry to read about the loss of your mum earlier this year. It’s understandable that you are feeling this way, especially as you mention you and your mum were really close. Grief is a natural response to losing someone we care about, and it’s important to remember that there is no right or wrong way to grieve. It’s not uncommon to worry about getting upset in front of your family, even when they are supportive.

We often hear on the Support Line that talking to someone outside of family and friends can help. Have you spoken to anyone about how you’re feeling and the dreams that you are having? If you feel like it would help, our Support Line is here to listen on Freephone 0800 090 2309 or you can continue to talk to us on here.

LadyB (above) has mentioned that one of the things that she found helpful was counselling, and others have also told us this. If you think this is something you would like to look into you can read more about how to do so here: https://www.mariecurie.org.uk/help/support/bereaved-family-friends/dealing-grief/bereavement-or-grief-counselling .

Hopefully others on the community will also share how they are learning to cope with grief.

Take Care.

Bonnie - Support Line Team

Sarah18 6 years ago

Hi Bonnie No I’ve not spoke to anyone about how I’m feeling as my closest friend was also close to my mum and she is an emotional person anyway. When I try to talk to her she gets upset then I close up again. Some nights I wake up in a panic and relive my mum passing all over again. I don’t have contact with most of my brothers and sister due to them being hostile about the funeral. Mums passing was very fast from finding out that her cancer had returned she only lasted two weeks which I spent 24/7 with her. Some days I feel ok but mums still in my head then other days I feel really low coz I miss her so much. I didn’t want to go to see my go as I don’t want to be put on any tablets. Thank you for replying.