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Cazdaz 5 years ago

1 reply

Hi. My elder sister has terminal lung cancer. It's been a rollercoaster over last 12 months. She had most of one lung removed then had a serious chest infection. She's now on immunotherapy but 4 weeks ago suffered a heart attack as well. Since then she's on so many meds and is constantly dizzy. She's been back in hospital 4 times in last 4 weeks but no-one can say what's causing it. Her leg muscles are weak through lack of use. I am finding it emotionally draining. I am having to go to work each day in a demanding job as well. She's just been told as well as the tumor in her kidney she now has a small tumor in her brain. It's hard to come to terms with this and she's so upset as she can now mo longer drive so what little independence she had has gone. I am feeling angry depressed not able to enjoy things as I feel guilty I am well and able to do these things . I don't want to go off sick as I will need the time off when the inevitable happens. How do I get through each day. Thanks for listening x

Brigette 5 years ago

Hi Cazdaz,

We are sorry to read about your sister’s diagnosis and her current health issues. It is very normal for you to be feeling emotionally drained as you try to process all of this information and continue with your demanding job. Caring for a family member with a terminal illness can be both rewarding and challenging and it is important to try and find time for self-care.

When we find out that a loved one has a terminal illness we often start the process of grieving, this is often called anticipatory grief and that can involve many of the same emotions as grieving. Many people talk to us about the negative emotions they experience including guilt, resentment, anger and depression. And we are often told that talking can help. Hopefully other community members will be able to share their own experiences with you but if you ever feel the need to talk and be listened to you can contact ourselves at the Support Line. You may also find it helpful to speak to your line manager at work to see if there is any additional support that they can offer you, perhaps with changes to your work load or by speaking to somebody if your organisation has an Employee Assistance Programme.

Please do continue to share your thoughts and feelings with us via the Community. 

Take care.

Brigette – Support Line Team