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Weave 5 years ago

3 replies

Hi, I am Weave and I lost my partner and soulmate of 40 years in May of last year and have not come to terms with it really. I am surrounded with great friends and also Mary's family but I get waves of being incredibly lonely. Totally empty. I know the loss will never heal and I will never forget. I'm not one for talking about these emotions but hoping that typing will help...

Bonnie 5 years ago

Hello Weave,

Thank you for joining our online community. We’re sorry to read about the loss of your partner Mary and how this is affecting you. It’s understandable when you say you will never forget her after 40 years together. Grief can bring many powerful emotions. It can be natural to experience feelings of loneliness and emptiness as part of this, even when you are surrounded by supportive friends and family. The feelings that you describe can be difficult to deal with, we have some information on our website about looking after yourself and understanding your feelings that you may find helpful to take a look at here: https://www.mariecurie.org.uk/help/support/bereaved-family-friends/dealing-grief/looking-after-yourself .

We appreciate that not everyone finds it easy to talk about how they’re feeling and what they are going through. We hope that sharing with us and others here on the community will be of some help to you. We also have an online chat service, where you can speak to ourselves here on the Support Line about all that you have been through and how you’re feeling. If you would like to do this, you can find out more about it here: https://www.mariecurie.org.uk/help/support/marie-curie-support-line/using-online-chat . Our online chat is available Monday to Friday between the hours of 8am – 6pm and Saturday 11am – 5pm.

Hopefully others here on the community will share with you what has helped them after the loss of a loved one.  

Take care,

Bonnie - Marie Curie Support Line Team

Weave 5 years ago

Hi Bonnie,

Many thanks for your reply. I really do appreciate everyone's help and comfort but find it hard to understand the feeling of loneliness that appears out of nowhere. It's a feeling I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy (not that I have one).

Bonnie 5 years ago

Hello Weave,

It’s understandable that you are experiencing feelings of loneliness during this difficult time. Adjusting to life without Mary must be challenging, especially after spending such a long time together.

Like grief, people tell us that loneliness can be experienced in waves and that these feelings can appear at any time, often unexpectedly. Some people tell us there are particular times of day or night where these feelings are more intense than at others. Have you experienced this at all?

You’re very welcome to talk to ourselves and others here on the community when you are feeling lonely. Sometimes people find it a comfort to share their stories or memories of their loved ones with others. It may not be something that you wish to do at this present moment, but if you would like to, we’re here to listen.

Take care,

Bonnie - Support Line Team