My sister is dying

  • Posts: 1
    28/12/2017  03:46

     My sister is dying from cancer.  She is in the last stages, I feel so helpless. She has lost all power of speech and is sleeping long hours.  I live a couple of hours drive away but try to be with her as much as possible.  Her husband is remarkable and also her two daughters. However, she is going into a hospice tomorrow because it is becoming too difficult to manage her whilst maintaining her dignity.  I feel so guilty because I know she wanted to die at home. It is unfair of me to voice this to her family at such a heart rendering time.  I' m sure they know her wishes anyway and all they want is the best for her.  Will my sister be able to hear me talking to her when she is unconscious? I just need her to know how much she is loved and to thank her for always being my rock.  Thank you for reading this. It's my very first attempt at exposing my anxiety but felt joining you all might take some of the worries away. 


  • Posts: 227
    28/12/2017  08:38

    Hi Star,

     

    I am so sorry to read about your Sister. Guilt is an emotion that many people feel when caring for a loved one, I am sure your sister's family know her wishes but sometimes people need more specialised care than can be given at home. I am sure they won't have made that decision lightly. Hearing is one of the last senses that the body loses so talking to your Sister when she is unconscious is a positive thing to do, it can help to reassure her that her family are still with her. Tell her how much you love her, share memories and hold her hands, these are all things you can still do with her. 

    Many people tell us that talking through their situation can help them to process their thoughts, and we are here to listen at the Support Line if you would like to talk to us.

    You are able to reach us by calling Freephone 0800 090 2309 or by contacting us via our web chat:https://www.mariecurie.org.uk/help

     

    Take Care,

    Brigette

    Marie Curie Support Line

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