ginasaro 1 year ago
I am Gina, 33 years old and live in Mid Devon with my husband in an old bakery. In June my life was turned upside down as my dad went to hospital thinking he may have had a stroke, but they discovered 5 brain tumours. Roll on to now and he is now slowly fading away in my living room.
I decided to bring him in with us a week ago, knowing his mobility was quickly declining. Since he moved in, his first two days he must have been full of adrenaline as he was quite good. Then Friday came and he just plummeted. He is sleeping a lot now. Lack of appetite is rearing its head as portion sizes are decreasing. He admitted to me yesterday he has been having headaches for weeks. Which I wish I had known so much sooner.
Before he moved in, he was living in his transit campervan. It was getting so difficult to help him, along with twice day care. And multiple visitors a day. I don't know how he kept it together. His mobility was so bad even then, he could hardly move around the van. Being a steel fabricator, luckily his van had many bars that were previously for hanging things, but aided his walking for a while. Every day we visited (my husband is a civil engineer) we would be tasked to make something new to help him.
Now he is here, in some ways it is easier, but lack of sleep by day five meant we have had some night sits. He is constantly agitated. To hot, or cold. Sore back from laying. He lost the ability to use cutlery a few days ago and often doesn't know where his hands are. It's suck a head f**k. So hard to watch. He hasn't been able to leave the bed since saturday. Today they are installing a hoist, but I just wonder if it is too late. He is so weak. A hospicare nurse is visiting us later and I think they will increase his pain meds now he has admitted the headaches. I feel now he has said out loud he has them, they will get worse.
Dad was fit and healthy up until June. We weren't very close as I didn't approve of how he was living. Mainly because I worried about something happening to him, and look what happened. But we have put everything to rest and I am so pleased I can offer him his last time with me. It is so hard though. I cry every day. I'm like a small child backed into a corner who doesn't know what to do. My mum is 20 years older as she had me late in life, never did I dream I would lose Dad first. They were together nearly 30 years, but still close. yesterday he upset her. So now I'm worried she's gone home and won't want to see him again.