Mum has terminal cancer

Rach 5 years ago

1 reply

Edited by Rach 5 years ago

In November we found out my mum who is 53 has ovarian cancer, she had chemo up until the start of this month and took very ill and ended up staying in hopsital a few times with low immunity and abdominal pain, her cancer had spread to her diaphragm and her omentum, she was due to get scan last saturday but because she ended up in hospital last week with extreme pain she had the CT done last Wednesday, we found out last thursday that her cancer has spread even further and the chemo was not working, she has been put on a syringe driver to keep her comfortable and been told she only has a few months, I dont know how to cope I have bad anxiety and I just keep getting panic attacks and emotional breakdowns I'm 27 and I just cant believe this is happening it feels like this is all a dream then I'm hit with reality , hospice nurses and district nurse are coming out twice a day to see her, she is so fragile and just looks exhausted I feel so helpless my heart is broken and I dont know how I'm going to cope without my mum, she is going to miss out on so many things in my life and my sisters lives it makes me sick to even think about losing her , I have support from my boyfriend and friends but it just feels like I'm emotionally unattached and all I can think about is my mum dying , I just dont want to see her suffer and be in pain it breaks my heart , she is so young and beautiful cancer has just stole her and I cant even imagine how difficult it is for her, we are a very close family and I still live at home with my mum dad and one of my sisters it's so hard to watch someone you love so much die

Samantha 5 years ago

 Hello Rach

We’re sorry to read about your mum’s diagnosis and all that you’re going through as a family.

Being told that a loved one has a terminal illness can evoke a range of powerful emotions which can be difficult to cope with. While there is no right or wrong way to feel, reaching out to talk about these feelings can be a way of trying to process these emotions and understand all that you’re experiencing.

We often hear on the Support Line, that for some people they find it easier to talk to a person that’s not involved in the situation. If you feel that reaching out to us may be beneficial, you can respond to us on this community post, or you can reach us on Freephone 0800 090 2309.

You mention in your post that you keep having panic attacks and emotional breakdowns, have you felt comfortable talking to your GP about this? We’re aware that the organisation Mind have a page on their website around anxiety and panic attacks which also provides information around self-care and things you may be able to try to help manage this. If you feel this would be helpful, you can view this here:  https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/types-of-mental-health-problems/anxiety-and-panic-attacks/self-care-for-anxiety/#.XRYAPutKhpg . Another option may be to talk with the Hospice Nurses or the District Nurse that is supporting your mum, they may be aware of local emotional support services for family members.

Watching a loved one’s health deteriorate can be incredibly challenging. We’re here to listen if you need us. We hope that others on the community will share their own personal experiences and what they have found has helped them through such a difficult time .

Take care,

Sam – Marie Curie Support Line Team