Rach2005 3 days ago
1 reply
Hello everyone- firstly I hope everyone is doing as well as they can be.
I guess im like a lot of people here… writing but don’t actually know why or what to say.
I lost my mum on the 6th of September, 13 days after the hospital told us there was nothing more they could do! We fought and fought to get her home instead of staying in hospital!!
I think my post may be different though… it wasn’t cancer that took my mum is was a new service that Marie curie has in Scotland called enhanced hospice at home care- my mum was a double lower amputee which she had happen over the course of a couple of years.
The ride we had in the couple of years was horrific- constantly fighting with hospitals/doctors/health care professionals, there was some days we’d arrive to visit the hospital and my mum would already be delirious because pain hadn’t been managed over night and be laying in her own urine. Anyways that’s a story for another day.
My mum was really so very poorly on admission to the hospital on the 13th of July and had stayed in hospital until the end of August which is when a consultant and charge nurse told us that there was nothing more they could do.
In a way it kind of brought relief to for me, my sister and my dad!! I know that sounds absolutely shocking but the pain, delusions and the pure upset my mum had to go through was so so horrible to watch so I couldn’t even begin to comprehend what it was like for my mum!
Anyways fast forward to when my mum got home to pass… I think I was looking for one more good day- where we could be a family and just talk about everything!!
That day never came unfortunately.
I haven’t really cried since the passing of my mum, I’m not sure if it’s because before she passed, I cried a million tears but not single one was for myself due to how my mum was being treated in hospital and just everything that was going on.
I’m just not sure what to do now- after moving back in with my parents in order to help care for my mum with my dad I’m so used to always having something to think about with that being my mums health or appointments or personal care, you know always something but now there’s nothing and I’m struggling!! I get anxious when leaving the house because I’m so used to planning my days in ways I’m able to get back really fast incase my mum needed me at any point!!
I got into a new relationship a couple months before my mum was taken into hospital in July and honestly the guy deserves a medal!! He has been there every single day not even just for me my whole family!! I really don’t know where id be without him that’s for sure!!
