Loss of wife Jill April 2024

Boyart23 6 months ago

3 replies

Have found much information on the six stages of grief (Dr David Kessler) and seen some of his videos. Have also talked to senior nurses (gp practice and Rowans Living Well Centre) what I need is what to do now, what strategies to reduce the mental anguish these steps are not very explicit. Nice chats but look after yourself is a bit vague to me. Any helpful advice welcome.

admin 6 months ago

Hello Boyart23,

We’re sorry to read about the recent loss of your wife, Jill.

Thank you for sharing the six stages of grief with others here on our Online Community. It’s positive to hear that you’ve had a nice chat with the senior nurses. Are they aware of any support available local to you?

Grief is a completely natural way to respond to the death of someone important to you. There's no right or wrong way to grieve and it feels different for everyone.

We have some information on our website that you may wish to take a look at about the physical symptoms of grief.

Grieving can be painful because losing someone important to you can be very distressing and can come with some powerful emotions. Over time the grief and pain you feel will usually become less strong. 

You mentioned what strategies there are to support you and how you’re feeling. Does anyone have any strategies or things that supported them in the past that they can share with Boyart23?

We have some information on looking after yourself when you’re grieving. Click here to read more. 

This may include:

• getting out for a walk in the morning or evening
• leaving the house, even if it's just to go for a coffee
• meditation or breathing exercises.
• doing something creative, like colouring or drawing

If you would like to speak to someone about how you’re feeling, our Online Community and Support Line are here for you. We also have trained bereavement support volunteers who can offer up to six sessions of support over the phone. Click here if you would like to find out more about our Bereavement Support Service.

Speckles1988 5 months ago

Hello Boyart , i am new on the forum i was browsing the posts and needed to send a message.  I am sorry for your loss, i feel for you as i have recently lost my adored sister in March and i am not coping too good either, i do try to keep busy but my mind wanders away with thoughts of sister during the final months as i cared and stayed with her.

It may sound really silly but things like ambulances , certain shops, days of the week, ( I hate Saturdays) will bring the tears again. 

Just when i say , think to myself, ok i feel a little better today, sometime thru the day or evening something will bring a wave of grief again.

I was interested in the six stages of grief videos you watched, where did you find them? website or on you tube?  Were they any comfort to you?

Bless and take care 

admin 4 months ago

Hello Speckles1988,

Thank you for joining our Online Community and for reaching out to Boyart23.

We’re sorry to read about the recent loss of your sister, and all that you’re going through. 

Grief is a completely natural way to respond to the death of someone important to you. It doesn’t sound silly at all, you might find that you swing between feeling OK one minute and upset the next. And that these feelings come in waves or bursts when you're not expecting it.

You mentioned that certain days of the weeks are particularly hard, and I just wanted to let you know that we’re here for you on our Online Community, and our Support Line is also open on Saturdays 11am-5pm if you would like to talk. 

We hope Boyart23 will see your message and share the grief videos that they mentioned with you.

You may also find our information helpful on the stages of grief which can be found on our website here: https://www.mariecurie.org.uk/help/support/bereaved-family-friends/dealing-grief/stages-of-grief .

Take care and b ye for now, 

Marie Curie Online Community Team