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  • In denial of a terminal diagnosis



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    Hello. Just joined, not sure what I can get out of this, but let me tell you my story. My husband has a terminal cancer diagnosis. I am 61 and he is 66, and we have been married less than a year. Although we have had a lot of external agency help with so many things, there still seems little recognition of my position as his carer. On a trip to Loros I was surprised when  they asked how I was, and the letter that came back actually had my name on it. At the moment my husband is having palliative chemo, but he is still fighting the diagnosis, has epilepsy, still not accepting that either, and I just sit and watch. By refusing to accept the diagnosis I am put in a crazy position. If I try to tell the specialists how he is he gets angry at me, he refuses to keep clean and wear fresh clothes unless I make a point of it. He sneaks away and eats whole packets of biscuits and chocolate bars. He tells his friends he can do things that he can't, etc. etc. He hides soiled clothing, and above all is struck with 'chemo brain', loss of memory and confusion due to drugs and tumours. I feel so lonely! Any suggestions?

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  • MarkWilkin

    Hi I'm sorry that you're having the handle that, you might find some advice on this help page we've written on coping with your feelings and dealing with other people's.  

    I'd also recommend giving the Carers UK Advice line a ring on 0808 808 7777 and they'll be able to talk to you and offer some advice directly.


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