How will I know when his final days are approaching?

jennie 4 years ago

1 reply

I am helping with my Dad's end of life care. He has been given weeks to live, rather than months. His deterioration seems to be quick. He has suddenly become mainly imobile with aids galore helping him remain at home, where he wants to be. He appetite has greatly decreased and his fluid intake is lower than it should be. In the past two days he has become very sleepy, dozing and sleeping on and off. Today, while the nurse was here to bathe him, he had a mini seizure. Afterwards he was sick. He recovered within two to three minutes. Again, the rest of the day was spent encouraging intake, giving him his medication, then he slept for a while. I have no idea how long we have with him, but this significant change, from mobile  with walker to reduced activity, has all happened within a week. I feel I need to know how to plan and support him in his final days...are these his final days or do we have more time? How will I know what 'stage' we are at? My Mum keeps busy in order to cover her fear. How do I help?!

Clare 4 years ago

Hello Jennie,

Welcome to the community. We’re sorry to hear about all that you and your parents are going through. Supporting a loved one who has a terminal illness can be an emotional time

It is understandable that you feel you need to know more to help you in supporting your dad.

It isn’t easy to say exactly what will happen when someone approaches the end of their life, but in the last weeks and days certain changes can be commonly experienced. Many people tell us that knowing more about this has helped them to plan and feel more able to be there for their loved one. We have information about these changes that you can read here, https://www.mariecurie.org.uk/help/support/terminal-illness/preparing/what-to-expect

This page of our website also has a short video featuring one of our nurses and people sharing their own personal experiences of looking after family and friends. We also have nurses on our Support Line that you can talk to. They are available on 0800 090 2309.

You may find it helpful to discuss your concerns with your dad’s doctor and nurses. They are there to support the family as well as their patient.

We are here on the community and on our Support Line for you with information and a listening ear and also hope that others on the community will share their experiences with you.

Take care,

Clare – Support Line Team