Jaci 9 years ago

Hi Andrea, how are you both coping and  thank you so much for your kind words of understanding , they are really helping me. Like your Mum I do dread the nights, and have been offered help, but I know that I could not just lie there and let somebody else look after John, and I always make it through.

Just a quick question though, did you find that your Dad's condition fluctuated? My reason for asking is that over the weekend I was convinced yet again that John was not going to make it, as he actually fell asleep while we had a friend visiting, and slept virtually all weekend and through the night apart from having to use  loo bottle, we have tried Convene catheters without success.thankfully by yesterday afternoon he had perked up again. District Nurse called today and did not seem overly concerned.

I really do hope that my queries do not reap up too many memories.

Take care 

Jaci

AndreaDaughter 9 years ago

Evening Jaci

I wrote a reply this morning but clearly didn't actually send it!?! Sorry x

My dads condition didn't fluctuate, no. He left hospital after a 10 day stay (pneumonia, which he beat 💪) and he lasted a month. I would say the first week or so at home his HF level had clearly decreased and then the remaining time his decline was gradual but definitely a decline, as opposed to fluctuating health x

Re Night carers - it's funny - I suggested that for you but our opinion was similar to yours! Not taking anything away from them at all, it's just a feeling that if there's any care or nurturing to be done, you're the best person to do it? We kept putting it off and even cancelled some that had been arranged for us. In fact we only ended up right at the end having one and even then it was because it was insisted upon. Our condition was that if anything changed, then we were to be woken. Mum moved her bed to the lounge for the night and a lovely, gentle, professional lady came and took over care once we'd settled dad. We were very insistent that we should be disturbed if there was any change and reluctantly we went off to settle in the next room (mum) and I upstairs at about midnight. Sure enough, she gentle called into mum, who in turn got me, at 3.30am as his breathing had changed (his Cheynes Stoking had finally stopped)- as had his fingernails. Well! We couldn't notice the change in fingernails so she must've sat, observing him the whole time, bless her (I had wrongly assumed a night carer would sit on her night duty with a magazine!)We invited her to take a long break in the privacy of the lounge and we then sat with dad the rest of the time. So Night Carers aren't so intrusive after all, but I appreciate your feelings as mum was exactly the same xxx

AndreaDaughter 9 years ago

Morning Jaci 

Just sending you a quick note to remind you that however difficult things are in your world at the moment, you're being thought of, probably by a lot more people than you realise x

No need to reply - this is just to say thinking of you, hang in there & keep going x

Love Andrea x

Jaci 9 years ago

THANKYOUAndrea ,you will never know just how much those words meant to me. I will not go on as I have really bad throat and sinus infection, lost voice cimpletely.on second course of 10 day course antibiotics,so feeling pretty awful. Hope you and Mum coping. Love Jaci x

AndreaDaughter 9 years ago

Edited by AndreaDaughter 9 years ago

Hi Jaci 

Tried to reply this morning but just as I'd about finished, my iPad ran out of battery!!

I hope you've perhaps started to turn a corner with your antibiotics? On my wise older brothers advice (he emigrated to Australia 16 yrs ago) I started on a 1-a-day everescent VitaminC & Zinc drink (own brand, usually 3 for2) during the final month of Dads illness just to boost my own health & energy levels - I don't know whether that's something worth thinking about? I've continued with it actually, as I work in a primary school, and felt as if I was vunerable, health wise for quite a long time 'after' too....with colds, cold sores, etc. I now believe that stress does have a physical effect on us, so a little extra help won't hurt x (I think you do have to keep up with the daily element though, otherwise it just becomes quite a nice drink with no health benefits!

I hope the glimmers of sunshine help ease you and your husbands lives, if only for a moment or too x

Thinking of you Jaci - keep going, you will be proud of yourself 💪 xx

Andrea (Ann&Bobs Daughter)