Hello I am a new member, looking forward to chatting with you all.

sailorgirl 7 years ago

1 reply

I am a carer for my partner of 14 years diagnosed 3 years ago with advanced metastatic renal cancer with involvements in liver and lungs.Two months ago  we were advised that he had a lesion in the front right lobe of the brain.Too add to that he has torn his Achilles tendon and has been off his legs for 12 weeks and all that is involved with that. Naturally now he has lost his cast and boot his leg is very weak and he keeps falling. It is such a worry to have to keep an eye on him wherever he goes, he feels I am checking up on him.

I need advice from some of your members on how to handle his daughter who  rarely comes to see him or do anything to help me despite living 5 minutes away. I have had a knee replaced 9 months ago having waited 2 years until he was well enough to leave on his own for three nights while I had the operation.I need my other knee doing now and don't know what to do about leaving him, I feel so guilty but it needs doing badly now....Help? and advice please would be welcome.

sailorgirl.

Support 7 years ago

Hi Sailorgirl,

I’m sorry to hear about what you and your partner are going through. Trying to juggle your own health needs while caring for a loved one can be tough. A lot of carers talk to us about how this can leave them feeling guilty, it is important to look after yourself as well though.

Carers can access a carer’s assessment from social services; this is an opportunity for you to discuss how caring affects you and what support you feel would be helpful to you. Options might include home care or respite to support your partner when you have your knee surgery.

Family dynamics can be difficult to handle and relationships don’t always change for the better because of a terminal diagnosis, you may find the information here and he re helpful.

If you would like to talk about things in more detail please call our Free phone Support Line on 0800 090 2309, or drop us a line via Web Chat:

https://www.mariecurie.org.uk/help

Best Wishes

Clare (Marie Curie Support Line)