Father just passed after 18 month battle

Piousuk 6 years ago

1 reply

Hi My step dad passed 10 days ago and I am feeling a mix of slight anger and that non of it is real. I haven’t cried even when my mother is breaking her heart to me. He was a wonderful partner to my mum for 20+ years and is very popular in the local community. I assisted as best I could in his care at home. At times it was frustrating with the lack of assistance my mother received but my parents were also very proud and we suspect put off a lot of help offered. He began to fall frequently over a 10 day period and suddenly went into a deep sleep and then peacefully died 4 days later at home in his bed with family around him. During the final 2 weeks Marie curie were incredible and made the whole process comforting. This is the closest experience I’ve had to death since very young and I’m now in my late 30s. I just feel nothing, the funeral isn’t for another week and I’m concerned I will explode with emotion then or just continue to be numb. I feel guilty about this; we viewed his body yesterday and I comforted my mother but did not express and emotion. In fact I was waiting for him to open his eyes and shout booo!! Any advice etc would be gratefully accepted. Wishing all of you the best Garry.

Bonnie 6 years ago

Hi Garry,

I am sorry to read about the recent death of your step dad. Grief is very personal and there is no right or wrong way to cope with it. Your feelings of nothingness could be for many reasons. You could be in shock, it could be that your brain has not yet fully processed the loss, you mention the fact that you were waiting for him to open his eyes yesterday. It is important to be kind to yourself and to recognise that this could change but it may not. There is no road map of the best way to deal with grief and how we should react. 

If you ever feel that you want to talk about how you're feeling the Support Line is here to offer a listening ear, in the lead up to the funeral, on the day, or anytime thereafter. I am hoping that others will share their experience with you here on the community. You are welcome to share your experience with us as often as is helpful.

Take things slowly and reach out if you need to.

Bonnie - Support Line Team