coping

kath 7 years ago

1 reply

Hi I don't know why I have joined really, just seem to be having a bad week.  My husband has copd and heart problems, and has been ill for nearly 14years now but we both realise that he is at end stage now, he is on oxygen has been for nearly 2 years now, but he is having really bad stomach pains has been for 18 months now and doctors don't seem to want to help, said the medication has messed his stomach up, he is constantly taking laxatives but the pain just doesn't go away and its not helping his breathing either, his has numbness in his legs and has fallen once. He did have a pic line in his arm but they decided to take this out a couple of weeks ago so not sure what will happen now if he has an infection as his veins close down so wont be able to take blood or get iv's into him.  I seem to be watching him slowly die in front of me and don't know what to do for him, he is in pain with his stomach and is having really bad turns with his breathing, it so hard watching him and not being able just to help him and no ones seem to want to help. Kath

Support 7 years ago

Hi Kath,

I am sorry to hear what you are both going through. Being so close to everything a loved one is experiencing can be distressing and at times leave you feeling that there is nothing you can do. Has the support of a palliative care team in your area been mentioned to you both? The aim of palliative care is to help the person with a terminal illness and the people close to them to have the best quality of life they can. You may find our information on accessing care helpful - https://www.mariecurie.org.uk/globalassets/media/documents/how-we-can-help/a054getting-care-and-support-for-someonefinalapril16.pdf 

At Marie Cure we are specialist in End of Life Care and supporting people and families living with a terminal illness. If you are looking for a more detailed understanding of COPD or Heart conditions it might be worth speaking to one of the following organisations:

British Lung Foundation: https://www.blf.org.uk/support-for-you/copd 03000 030 555

British Heart Foundation: https://www.bhf.org.uk/?gclid=CJKm2PPWhdQCFY0V0wodBCoCfg 0300 330 3311

If you would like to talk about things in more detail please call our Free phone Support Line on 0800 090 2309, or drop us a line via Web Chat:

https://www.mariecurie.org.uk/help

Best Wishes

Clare (Marie Curie Support Line)