Caring for someone who's caring for someone

sjm047 7 years ago

1 reply

Hi My partners mum has been told recently she has quite a rare cancer but we are struggling to get an understanding of what has been done, what needs to happen and the longer term prognosis. My partner is shutting down. He doesn't talk because I don't think he knows what to say or how he feels. I am here for him but I don't how or what to do to help him through this. He is always the strong one - for his children, for the rest of his family but I'm worried he's not looking out for himself. How can I best help him through this initial uncertainty and strong enough for whatever the outcome might be. Thanks sjm047

Support 7 years ago

Hi sjm047

I am sorry to read about your partner’s mum’s diagnosis.

It would seem you both have some un-answered questions at this point in time and it may be helpful to prepare for any follow up appointments your partner’s mum may have with her Consultant and GP, there is useful information here to get the answers you need.

It could take time to come to terms with any outcome, and your partner is likely to continue to feel many different emotions as he starts to process the information. Denial can initially be a way of coping and it can be common for someone to avoid thinking or talking about something that is distressing to them, there is further information here  and although this section is written for someone living with a terminal illness we are aware that family members also go through these range of emotions too.

Many people tell us that talking about their feelings with somebody they trust when they are ready can also be helpful - a GP, Friend or the Support Line. If you or your partner would like to talk about things in more detail please call our Free phone Support Line on 0800 090 2309, or drop us a line via Web Chat: https://www.mariecurie.org.uk/help

Best Wishes

Claire

Marie Curie Support Line