Meoow123 6 years ago

Edited by Meoow123 6 years ago

I've just joined, as my wife has terminal cancer. Keep strong, don't blame yourself and try to be emotionally detached. I wish I could help.

I'm jointly caring for my mum, with my brother... I've become emotionally detached and it works for me... I wouldn't be able to do the things I do for mum if I got upset all the time ...this is about her not me, time for tears later eh?

Meoow123 6 years ago

Sorry if that seems a bit harsh, it's not intended to be... we have to be strong because if we fall, who else is there? 💜💙💜

Meoow123 6 years ago

What a lovely reply, my heart and thoughts are with you all ...one day at a time xxx

WGCman 6 years ago

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I'm now partly emotionally engaged, and was not really prepared for the shock when it happened, though we knew it was coming. My wife left this world in January and was better prepared than I was, having specified all the music and poetry for her funeral, which was in February. For her funeral she chose the anonymous poem Afterglow:

I’d like the memory of me

to be a happy one.

I’d like to leave an afterglow

of smiles when life is done.

I’d like to leave an echo,

whispering softly down the ways,

of happy times and laughing times

and bright and sunny days.

I’d like the tears of those who grieve

to dry before the sun

of happy memories

that I leave when life is done.

But it's hard. I have tearful moments, but am keeping busy to avoid grieving. The Hospice offered me counselling but I only saw the lady once - I don't think I'm ready yet. All I can do is get on with my life alone, taking each day as it comes. But I look at the photos of us together, to remember the happy times.

Satlady 6 years ago

Hi

I'm so sorry to hear of your loss and hope you are managing to deal with each day one at a time.

They will never be forgotten and in time we will be able to adjust to the new lives we have without them even though it is not what we had planned or hoped for.

The hospice councillors have been a huge help to myself and the children and the children are about to start their FIG/TIG course next week.

I'm coping with things slightly better now than I was but we are hitting on all the key dates from when my husbands very short battle started which are more significant for me than the children as the early dates they only knew dad was ill in hospital as we had no outcome or proper diagnosis to give them ( that all starts end of next week they day after what would have been his birthday ).

I hope you have plenty of support around you and your family.

I with two other widows here have set up a local widows support group which initially started with four of us and we now have 41 members of all ages with and without children for our small area.

x