Caring for my mom with Stage 4 Copd

mrsc218 1 year ago

2 replies

My mom has now decided she would like to go into hospice care and withdrawal treatment and be at peace and die in no pain and be comfortable. Having been going threw this battle with my mom for years of her life does anyone feel guilty when they cant be with this person all the time due to other responsibilities i have two kids a part time job I'm also married its a massive strain. when im not with mom she must call me around 12 times a day sometimes more and during the night my mom lives alone and doesn't have a partner and i'm not the only child i have a twin brother who has no kids and no partner or wife but i seem to be having to deal with everything alone and im starting to resent him please say im not the only one going threw this?? when does it get easier ??

admin 1 year ago

Hello mrsc218,

We’re sorry to read about your mom and all you’re going through as a family. 

When someone you know has a terminal illness it can be physically and emotionally demanding, especially on top of juggling family life and other commitments. It can sometimes feel like there are not enough hours in the day. 

You’re not alone in feeling like this, some carers find that caring gradually takes over their life and they lose their interests and hobbies and contact with friends and family. 

Try to be kind to yourself, and if you can try building in some time for yourself into your day – even if it’s just for 10 minutes.

Hopefully others will see your message and share their experience with you too. 

We’re here for you whenever you need to talk on our Online Community 💛

Ellie short for Eloise 1 year ago

Hello mrsc218

I just joined this online forum because my mum has advanced stage bladder cancer and also COPD, and I am struggling a bit because I live in France and she is in UK so I cannot be with her much throughout her illness and (when it comes - end of life). I have to have firm but loving boundaries with her (and also her friend) when it comes to their expectations of how often I can go over (it's a huge expense for me with flights and train travel etc). I'm really hoping to connect with other people who relate to this - so am replying to your post as although I might not be able to give you the magic answer - I can definately resonate with your situation :-)