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  • Stage 4 kidney failure



    1 reply

    My dad is 89 lives with us and was diagnosed a year ago with stage 4 kidney failure he hasn’t been to any appointments he cancels them all so no treatment he has recently been diagnosed with Alzheimer’s. He has deteriorated a lot in the last 4/5 weeks and is in a lot of pain in the last three days , do I ask for palliative care ? Is it possible he can go into a hospice ? The dr asked if he was on end of life care but it’s the first time a gp has mentioned it . I don’t no what to expect and I do t think I can cope with it all as I’m unwell myself , adult social care seem to just be bothered about what money he has and if he will accept going to a flat with carers they don’t seem to listen to me , there’s no way he could manage he needs nursing even though he says he doesn’t , he cannot do anything for himself he only just manages to get to the loo in the day but makes a mess and he doesn’t manage to get there at all in the night . I don’t no what to do next . Any suggestions would be gratefully recieved

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  • Elin

    Edited by Elin 2 years ago

    Hi Hazela13 and welcome to the Marie Curie Community. We are sorry to read about your dad’s diagnosis and all that you are going through. It sounds like it has been an overwhelming time and it is normal to find these times difficult to cope with. Caring for someone you love can be both physically and emotionally tiring and some people find their feelings can change often. Hopefully others here on the Marie Curie Community can share their experiences and insights, perhaps talk about ways in which they managed similar situations.


    Palliative care is treatment, care and support for people with a life-limiting illness, and their family and friends. The aim of palliative care is to help a person to have a good quality of life and can involve managing pain and also emotional support. Palliative care can be received at any stage of the illness and so speaking to the GP about palliative care may be helpful and they may be able to refer your dad to the community palliative care team if available. We have some more information about palliative care here:


    Hospice care is accessed through a referral process made by a healthcare professional like your dad’s GP. Getting care from a hospice will depend on a number of factors including availability of beds. Patients can be referred to a hospice for short stays, for example symptom management or for respite. If you want to find out more, speaking with your dad’s GP could be a helpful next step.


    Whilst you’ve had a difficult time accessing support from the local council, given your dad’s needs, they may be best placed to assess and organise the appropriate support with his day-to-day care at home or look at other suitable options for him. If you are unhappy with the support offered, you are able to make a complaint. We have some information about making a complaint here:


    It is important to take care of yourself during this time and if you ever feel like talking about your experience, we are here to listen. The Marie Curie Community is a safe place for you to share as much as you feel comfortable sharing and ask any questions. If you want to speak with us on our Support Line, we are here for practical information and emotional support on Freephone 0800 090 2309 or by email


    Take care,


    Elin – Support Line Officer

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