Scared

Ronnie61 4 years ago

6 replies

Edited by Ronnie61 4 years ago

I have copd emphysema and so scared of getting worse dying leaving my kids. My sister who I am very close to has multiple myeloma we do not want to die And my husband has totally disengaged and just want to plan my funeral I asked if he would miss me when I am gone he said no. I know I am in denial I kept looking for hope for me and my sister I am petrified have suicidal thoughts I keep chasing research Sorry jumbled thought my daughter just is not accepting anything so alone

Hannah11 4 years ago

Hi Ronnie61, 

Thank you for joining our Online community. We hope that others will see your message and share their experiences with you too. 

I'm sorry to hear about your diagnosis and the feelings you are experiencing surrounding it. Have you spoken to anyone about your suicidal feelings such as the GP? There are also some organisations that offer some support that I would like to make you aware of as well such as Mind and the Samartians. 

I'm sorry to hear that your husband has disengaged. Some people find it difficult to talk about things like planning a funeral or losing a loved one. Have you told him about how you are feeling? 

If you would ever like to talk over the phone you can give us a call on Freephone 0800 090 2309. 

Take care, 

Hannah - Support Line Officer

Ronnie61 4 years ago

Edited by Ronnie61 4 years ago

He knows how I feel, everyone telling me to fight wish I could I feel so unwell a lot of the time. With a lot of regret and wishing....they send me on research looking I get hopeful then knocked back which is soul destroying As for my husband he has arthritis and fibromyalgia and said it's not all about me. All the plans I had gone and now I feel I have nothing, no future nothing all because I used to smoke

Hannah11 4 years ago

Hi Ronnie61, 

Thank you for your response. Have you spoken to your GP about feeling unwell? 

People often share with us that they reflect and are sometimes left with regrets or wishes. It's important to know to be kind to yourself and know that you're not alone in how you are feeling. 

I'm sorry to hear about your husband's illnesses too. I can appreciate that it may be difficult trying to manage both of your health. 

Take care, 

Hannah - Support Line Officer

Ronnie61 4 years ago

Thank you for listening to me still very tearful and think in parts when I speak to my children go into denial. I am so not coping

Brigette 4 years ago

Hi Ronnie, 

It sounds like you have a lot going on at the moment. Do you think it may help to talk us in real time, either over the phone or via webchat?

I don't now how old you are but many people tell us that talking about their worries and concerns can help them to start to process their thoughts, feelings and emotions. Saying words out loud can often help to clear the mind. If you think this may help we are here to listen.

For others writing things down can help in the same way. Please do keep sharing your thoughts and feelings with us. Hopefully others reading here may be able to offer you some support or share their ways of coping.

Best Wishes

Brigette