Regrets

Jamangie 4 years ago

1 reply

My dear husband of 52 years died earlier this year. I just can’t cope without him he was my life. He was very ill for almost 3 years before dying In a hospice. I’m racked with guilt that in his last weeks at home I didn’t hug him enough because I was busy dealing with colostomy kit and trying to feed him up! Although I visited him in the hospice every day , he quietly died when I had left him and gone home. I don’t think he knew me in the last week and we never said goodbye. I sry nearly all the time now and wish I’d gone with him..Time doesn’t seem to make it any easier

Hannah11 4 years ago

Hi Jamangie,

Welcome to the Community. I’m sorry to read about the death of your husband and all that you experienced whilst caring for him.

Caring for someone that we love is a difficult job. You get no training, but you take on a full-time job caring anyway. It’s understandable that you feel that you didn’t hug him enough, it’s natural for us to wish we had done more.

I’m sorry to hear that you didn’t get to say goodbye. We know from our end of life care experience that the timing of a loved one’s death can be very difficult, especially if it is just after their family members has left t he room.

Saying goodbye can come in many forms, here’s some ideas that may help you with how you are feeling. You can write a letter, listening to a song or making a special playlist, reading a favourite book, looking through photographs or watching a favourite TV show. It’s important to do as little or as much as you feel able.

We’re here for you when you need us.

Take care

Hannah – Support Line Officer