Janemurray 8 years ago
Edited by MarkWilkin 8 years ago
Question from Beinghere: Lost my mum yesterday. She was diagnosed with lung cancer in feb. 4 weeks ago. We were all with her during her final breaths. Felt prepared but it's her final few breaths I just can't forget. I remember every detail. Her what I thought was her last then when I held her face anotger short and quick breath. I just want to know she's safe and ok. That's all. Have lots of family support from my fiancée's family. My brother too. He's dealing with all the legal stuff. My little boy seems to be ok. I feel so weak and scared how I should feel and the future. I promised my mum is never give up and I won't. I just want to know she's ok. How do I know? When will I know she is ok? Aw mum I love you so much
Hello I can feel your pain coming through in your words at the loss of your mum yesterday. I would imagine you are still in shock from the diagnosis and the whirlwind of the following weeks.
It is natural that you are feeling so raw & vulnerable right now- you may find this feeling continues for some time to come, having better days and not so good days.
You were with her for her last moments of life, it is normal for those images to remain with you- sometimes quite vividly- for some time, it is your minds way of making sense of what happened. In time those vivid images will fade, and be replaced by images and memories of the well & happy mum.
You ask if your mum is safe & okay and of course you need to know that and feel it. What you do know is that mum is now no longer ill & suffering. She is now and always safe in your heart and your memory, you will continue to love and cherish her always.
There is no right or wrong way to feel right now- do not deny how you feel or try to hide it. It is okay to cry!
I'm please to know you have a good support network around, you might wish to consider accessing bereavement support for yourself either now or in the future, in can often be helpful to talk to some one outside of the family, to help you through the grieving process.
Condolences to you and your family
Marie Curie Cancer Care