Physical grief symptoms. Lost mum 2 weeks ago. Feeling very heavy

Johnsonsbaby7 6 years ago

3 replies

Edited by Johnsonsbaby7 6 years ago

Hi all, I lost my mum 2 weeks ago only 5 weeks after diagnosis. I have been trying to carry on more or less as normal with the children etc but I have this heavy feelnng in my heart which is very physical. It comes and goes but when it is there can be really dehablitating. It feels like my bodies way of telling me to slow down and heal. How long do these initial symptoms usually last? Thanks

Support 6 years ago

Hi Johnsonsbaby7,

I am sorry to read about the recent loss of your mum. Grief is a very individual process and no two people will experience it in the same way. Many people do talk to us about the very physical symptoms of grief, which can be many and varied: overwhelming tiredness, aches and pains, loss of appetite and so on. It is important to try to look after yourself as much as you can; not easy with children and a family to look after.

You don’t have to go through bereavement alone. There are lots of ways of getting support at this time. This can range from talking to family and friends, your GP, Helplines or professional counsellors. Talking can be a great way of starting to process your thoughts and emotions. You may find the information here helpful: https://www.mariecurie.org.uk/help/support/support-directory/bereavement-support

If you ever need a listening ear, you can get in touch with us on Freephone 0800 090 2309 or via our web chat function here: https://www.mariecurie.org.uk/help/support/marie-curie-support-line

Best Wishes

Brigette

Marie Curie Support Line

Johnsonsbaby7 6 years ago

Thank you Brigette. It is great to have some pointers for support. I wouldn't have known where to start. Thanks

LadyB 6 years ago

Hi Johnsonsbaby7,

My mum had 3 months from diagnosis. She really struggled at the end so when she passed away, me and my 2 sisters were relieved she was out of pain and discomfort. It has been nearly 2 years now. I still wake up and can't believe she's gone, but at the same time the ache in my stomach is subsiding. I try to remember the good times, the nutty sense of humour she has passed on to me!

With my experience it took about 6 months before the massive sense of loss started to calm a bit. Everyone is different, and we all cope differently. I had some bereavement counselling, which at first I didn't feel was helping but then realise the nightmares had stopped and I was starting to sleep better. So therefore the counselling must have helped. I do recommend this. Sometimes it's hard to speak to family about your inner thoughts, as they are also grieving. I find it hard to be open to close family, but yet again everyone is different.

I took up exercise which has helped my mind massively. It helped me cope with day to day situations better. I also started fundraising for Marie Curie. This gave me a focus, and an aim.

Wishing you the best in whatever you choose. Remember life does get better again, although we will always grieve for those gone, that grieving calms after a while. x